


Warmed by Cold

by BelladonnaVeilsin



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Barry Allen/Leonard Snart - Freeform, M/M, Not-Fake Boyfriends, Serial Killer, coldflash - Freeform, fake boyfriends, puns
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 16:15:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22079818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BelladonnaVeilsin/pseuds/BelladonnaVeilsin
Summary: To rescue Barry from the attentions of a fangirl, Leonard Snart plans a date for them to convince her that he and Barry are boyfriends. One date turns into more, and soon Barry and Len are diving down a rabbit hole of emotion that neither one is ready for. A serial killer in Central City doesn't make life easier either.
Relationships: Barry Allen/Leonard Snart, Cisco Ramon/Lisa Snart, Ronnie Raymond/Caitlin Snow
Comments: 59
Kudos: 258





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Because my head is a breeding ground for plot bunnies, here we are. And, yes, I’m aware most people wouldn’t persist as much as this girl, but she is tenacious. This is set in the first season after Len and Barry make their deal, but assuming nothing happened for a while after that. (I threw in the Flash coffee at Jitters, despite it not being timeline appropriate.)

For once, it was apparently Barry Allen and not the Flash who had a fangirl.

“I see you in here all the time, but I’m always in a rush, but I had extra time today so I couldn’t just _not_ talk to you at last-”

Barry had superspeed, and this girl was going too fast for even him. Had she even taken a breath since she started talking? He could tell she meant well; she was obviously just nervous and babbling, which was something Barry could relate to. But how could he turn her down when he didn’t have a second to respond?

Just when he started contemplating using his speed to create a diversion to distract her so he could escape (which would be both cowardly and irresponsible, he knew), an arm slid around his waist, bringing goosebumps when combined with the expensive cologne that he recognized even before he heard the voice.

“Barry, you’re keeping me waiting and taking up valuable time from this lovely young woman. You should be ashamed.” There was a teasing tone that was usually accompanied by dry wit or a snide attitude. And puns. There were usually more puns.

Captain Cold had his arm around Barry and was leaning in comfortably like he belonged there. The girl seemed almost as taken a-back by his appearance as Barry was. _Almost_. It was hard to beat being startled by your nemesis getting cozy with you out of the blue.

“Who are you?” she asked.

“Oh, I’m Len, Barry’s boyfriend. He promised to buy me coffee this morning but instead he’s over here trying to make me jealous. And here I thought we’d moved past all those games and onto _new_ ones.” The suggestive tone had Barry burning with embarrassment even as he tried to process what the hell was happening.

The girl looked between Cold’s smug confidence and Barry’s embarrassment and astonishment. She wasn’t sold. “This is your boyfriend?” she asked Barry.

It took him a few seconds too long to collect himself and answer. Cold squeezed Barry’s hip, which prompted him. “Yeah. He is. I just…wasn’t expecting him to show up so early.”

Barry cursed his poor lying skills. The girl looked even less convinced than before he had spoken. “So, how long have you two been dating?”

Barry just kept his mouth shut and let Snart’s silver tongue take the lead. He was having a hard enough time not squirming out of Cold’s grip. It wasn’t trapping him, it wasn’t hurting him, it wasn’t…at all unpleasant. Which was all the more reason to end it. But not yet.

“Oh, we met about a year ago, but it’s only in these past few months that we’ve really gotten closer and things have moved like lightning.” Barry knew Cold couldn’t resist punning for long.

Yeah, kidnapping Cisco and his brother, torturing them to gain Barry’s identity, and then blackmailing Barry had happened pretty quickly, and Barry supposed it could be considered “taking their relationship to the next level.” But what on earth about those events changing the dynamics between them had Captain Cold sidling up to him at Jitters pretending they were dating? Barry was certain he held no appeal to the thief beyond an interesting and challenging adversary.

Cold didn’t even wait for another question. “We were actually deciding what to do for our three-month anniversary over coffee this morning. At least, we were _supposed_ to be before _someone_ decided that he needed to play mind games.”

Mind games indeed. Barry was rapidly coming to the conclusion that this was just another way for Snart to screw with him. And he knew Barry would play along if it meant getting rid of the verbal-speedster-fangirl.

“Oh, that’s my fault; I’ve been admiring your boyfriend from afar for a while now. You’re such a lucky guy. When is your anniversary?” The girl had dialed back her suspicion, but Barry knew she was still unconvinced. Right now he was mostly hoping Snart wouldn’t find it funny to kiss Barry to sell the ruse.

“This Friday.” Snart didn’t miss a beat.

“Have you ever eaten at Mario’s?”

“Do they serve giant mushrooms?”

That got a burst of honest laughter from the girl. Maybe she’d decide that Captain Cold was far more charming and attractive than Barry could ever be. Barry was already on that train. Though he felt certain if he stayed on board too long, Snart would happily derail and crash this one too.

“No, but they’re rated as one of the top romantic restaurants in the city.”

Barry was horrified when Snart said, “That sounds perfect. I’ll make reservations for Friday. What a wonderful suggestion, Miss…”

“Rebecca.”

“Rebecca. Thank you for being so gracious about my good fortune in snagging this wonderful man.” Barry fought down panic when Cold briefly nuzzled into his neck. He knew he was bright red, so hopefully she’d take it as Barry being uncomfortable with PDA. Which he was when it came to his nemesis playing games with him.

“Time to buy me coffee, Barry.” Captain Cold waved at Rebecca as he steered Barry into the coffee line.

When Barry saw her leave, coffeeless, he shook off Snart’s grip and rounded on him. “What the hell are you playing at?”

“I was playing at being your knight in frozen armor. It was fun. Besides, I saw you keeping quiet while she kept going on and on. She would have bullied you into a date with her instead.”

Barry was briefly speechless. Was there an implication there that Captain Cold didn’t want Barry going on dates with anyone that wasn’t him? No, he was reading too far into it. “I’ll have you know I was waiting for her to breathe again before I said something. Either that or reveal herself to be a meta who doesn’t require oxygen to live.”

“Bullshit, Scarlet.”

“You made plans in front of her, which is what she was obviously hoping for! Now she’ll see that we aren’t dating and go back to pestering me.”

Captain Cold smirked. “That’s why we’re going on a date, Barry. One romantic evening and she will get the message that you’re taken. It’s either that or you can find a new favorite coffee shop.”

It was creepy that Snart knew that. It also meant it wasn’t impossible that Snart had shown up here to catch Barry and harass him. And he’d found himself a golden opportunity.

“You want to go on a date with me? Why?” Because Leonard Snart wasn’t doing this out of the goodness of his heart. Even if Barry was starting to think that Snart might have something softer behind his icy exterior (although that could also be him deluding himself to make his inappropriate attraction to the man more acceptable), Snart was no humanitarian.

Barry received another smirk. “It’ll be fun, kid. How many nights off do you take to have fun?” When Barry opened his mouth, Cold added, “Fun that doesn’t involve STAR Labs or anyone therein.”

Closing his mouth, Barry frowned. “You just eliminated all of my friends. Having fun with my friends on a night off counts.”

“Socializing, Barry. Meeting new people. How can a speedster like yourself be satisfied with so little stimulation? All work and no play makes Flash a dull boy.”

Barry rolled his eyes. “A date with you is not socializing with new people.”

“But it is new. I won’t pull any heists, and I’ll leave the cold gun at home. Brave new world.”

That drew a snort from the speedster. “That still doesn’t explain why you’re doing all this.”

Captain Cold shrugged indifferently. “Maybe I’m bored.”

And, yeah, that definitely chilled Barry’s mood. Attraction was bad enough, but if this was turning into a crush (which his crushing disappointment at Snart’s statement indicated), he was in big trouble.

But he wouldn’t show Cold that he hurt Barry. “Why do I have to buy you coffee?”

Cold gave him a particularly smug smirk. “Unlike you, I don’t do heroics for free. I think that rescue deserves an iced Flash, don’t you?”

Barry didn’t answer, just cursed puns as his face heated up. That wasn’t all that suggestive, so why did it elicit a warm pull inside the speedster? “Fine,” he said, facing ahead as they were next in line.

Cold just let out a “hmph” noise that sounded more put-out than satisfied, but Barry wasn’t going to pay attention. He was going to purchase coffee and leave this nightmare morning behind him.

Jessica, the barista working the counter and Iris’s best work friend, took in Barry and Snart together, and Barry prayed she didn’t pay enough attention to the news to recognize the thief. Although, sans-parka and goggles and dressed in a navy button up and black slacks and black shoes, he hardly looked like the Captain Cold who had challenged the Flash on live TV.

When she gave him a small, conspiratorial smile and said, “What can I get you and your _friend_ , Barry?” Barry realized he had a whole different problem on his hands. No way Iris wasn’t hearing about this.

“Two iced Flashes. One with three extra shots of espresso and extra whipped creme.” Snart didn’t even blink before he ordered.

Jessica smiled as she took Barry’s money and put the order in. “Even if you usually drink hot coffee, it’s impressive that your _friend_ knows how you like your Flash.”

It was creepy, that’s what it was. Even if he knew his system burned through the caffeine faster than he could ingest it, Barry credited the placebo effect for the boost it gave him. And Cold somehow knew that he liked the extra caffeine. Barry could have attributed the extra shots to just guessing a number, but combined with the whipped crème, it meant that Captain Cold had been keeping an extremely close eye on him.

When Jessica turned to make their drinks, Barry glared at Cold. “Anyone ever tell you that you’re a creep?”

That drew the first truly hostile look Cold have given Barry that morning. “No. I’m told I’m a meticulous planner with a fine eye for details. Planners do lots of homework, even if not all of it is useful. Can’t risk missing something others might not see the importance of.”

Barry almost bought that. But something still felt off. “How much homework have you done on me?”

Cold gave him a chilly smile. “My greatest and most dangerous enemy? Plenty.”

And Barry felt colder at that. How much of his personal life had Snart seen since he got ahold of Barry’s identity? What intimate moments had he witnessed?

“Calm down, Scarlet, your precious privacy is pretty much intact. Since I’ve agreed not to go near your friends and family, I haven’t done quite as thorough research into the most personal parts of your life.”

Only slightly reassured, Barry said, “You know how I like my coffee. But you have no idea how I like my eggs?” Barry only ate eggs at home, so it would be a telling answer.

Cold glanced at him. “Know how you like your eggs? That would be _weird_.”

But Barry couldn’t ignore the fact that Cold hadn’t said he didn’t know. The speedster wasn’t sure what exactly was going on here, but the uncertainty was unsettling. It made him want more distance between himself and the dangerous man with unclear motives.

When Jessica set their cups in front of them, she looked back and forth, taking in the tense atmosphere between the two of them. “Uh, here you go, Barry.” Then she hurried to get the next customer in line. Apparently she could sense bad vibes.

Barry picked up his cup and made to leave, but Snart caught his arm. “We need to plan our date, Scarlet.” Jessica’s head snapped to look at them and Barry cursed Snart’s loud mouth.

“I have work.” He was not in the mood to hang out and plan a fake date with his nemesis/crush.

“Give me your number then.”

Now Barry frowned. “Don’t you already have it?”

“Just give it to me.” Again, he hadn’t denied having it.

Barry told him his number, knowing the steel trap of Captain Cold’s brain would hold the number in his mind forever. And he turned and left without saying goodbye.

About the time Barry was settled in his lab, he got a text from an unfamiliar number: **Don’t be so cold to me on our date, Scarlet, or Rebecca won’t believe we have any sparks between us.**

There was no stopping the chuckle that escaped Barry. **Your stalker antics are a bucket of ice water. That isn’t my fault.**

**What if I said you make my heart race like lightning?**

_That_ was a bucket of ice water. **I’d say stop playing around. Just let me know when we need to settle on our plans. I have work to do.**

Barry was both satisfied and disappointed when he received no reply. Still, he saved the number in his contacts. He was hesitant to pick a name for Captain Cold, though. Both “Captain Cold” or “Cold” or “Snart” were red flags to anyone who might pick up his phone.

Then he remembered how Cold had introduced himself to Rebecca. Barry just labeled the number “Len”, and settled in to process evidence from the latest crime scene. He just had to remember that no matter what label he was given, Leonard Snart was a dangerous, untrustworthy criminal.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More fun coming at ya! This is coming a lot faster than planned, but since I’m almost done with the third chapter, I figured I couldn’t sit on this any longer.
> 
> And, full disclosure, you’ll notice there’s no longer the Wells suspicion that was really getting going at the end of Rogue Time featured in this fic. It’s not what I’m focusing on, so I just discarded it. Prerogatives of a fanfic writer.

Barry was so deeply focused on his work that afternoon that he didn’t notice the intruder in his lab until it was too late. He received a punch to the shoulder.

“Barry Allen, what’s this I hear about a handsome stranger who has already given you an affectionate nickname and is planning a date with you?” Iris was grinning, the teasing note to her voice almost comforting. _Almost_. Hard to be comfortable lying about a criminal mastermind somewhat extorting Barry into a date.

Rubbing his shoulder, Barry said, “It kinda sounds like what you said _is_ what you heard.”

Iris pulled up a chair to sit next to him to grill him. “Well, yeah, but why is this the first I’m hearing about it? What’s his name? How long have you been seeing each other? If you’ve been hiding a secret boyfriend from me, Barry Allen, I will hurt you. You know that we don’t care who you’re with as long as you’re happy.”

Barry knew the “we” was her and Joe. They knew that he went both ways, due to an awkward crush that Iris found out about in high school. It was extra awkward since Iris was _also_ Barry’s crush. “We haven’t been seeing each other. He just cornered me this morning and made me an offer I couldn’t refuse.”

“That sounds half adorably determined and half like you’re dating a crime lord.” Barry had an inner panic when she said that.

Since Barry didn’t immediately reply, Iris kept interrogating. “Why does he call you ‘Scarlet’?”

Almost on cue, Barry felt his face heating up. He couldn’t tell her that it was Snart’s teasing nickname for the Flash. What was he supposed to tell her?

“Nevermind, I think I see. I’m not sure I’ve seen you that red before. You really like him, don’t you?”

Barry’s chest felt tight. Over the course of the morning, he hadn’t been able to keep his mind from wandering, and he’d realized, yes, at some point his attraction to his villain had morphed into a full-blown crush. But by Cold’s own admission, he was only playing with Barry because he was bored. It hurt.

“What’s wrong, Barry?” Iris slid a hand down his arm.

“Nothing. I’m just pretty sure this is a bad idea, even if I do like him.”

“Why?”

Barry hesitated, but then decided to be honest. “I’m not sure he really likes me. I think he’s just playing with me.”

A stern expression settled onto Iris’s face. “If he is, you’re going to send him my way for a chat. I may not be a hardened criminal, but I grew up with a cop for a dad and my best friend is a CSI. I’m confident that I could make him disappear if I needed to.”

The speedster couldn’t help but grin at that. Until he considered that Captain Cold _was_ a hardened criminal, and Iris threatening him would be very bad. “No need for that. I can kick his ass myself if I need to.”

Iris giggled. “Barry Allen: Kick-ass Avenger. I remember how all your fights went when we were kids, Barr.”

Even if she didn’t know he was the Flash, Iris’s dismissal hurt. Barry was still trying to get over her. Maybe this thing with Snart could distract him from his real heartache.

“Well, if you’re done making fun of my Fists of Futility, I should get back to work.” Barry deliberately turned away from her to his desk.

“Fine, but one more question: what is this guy’s name?”

Barry sighed. “Len.”

Iris smiled. “Sounds…sweet. And he’d better be. No one is going to treat my best friend like a toy. You tell him that, or I will.”

Barry shook his head at Iris’s opinion of Snart’s nickname. “You’d have a hard time getting ahold of him, Iris.”

Now Iris shook her head. “Jessica said he’s a regular. I’m not above hanging around Jitters during her shifts until she can point him out to me.”

That sent a shiver down the speedster’s spine. Regular? How many morning coffees had Barry gotten under the watchful gaze of Captain Cold? No wonder he knew exactly how Barry took his coffee.

“Just don’t worry about it. I’m a big boy, Iris. I can fight my own battles.”

“Fine.” Iris’s tone in no way indicated that he had won that battle or convinced her of anything. But she kissed his forehead and left without further discussion.

Barry pulled out his phone. **So, I hear you’re a regular at Jitters. Which explains how you knew about my coffee. We need to discuss this stalking habit of yours.**

**Recon, Scarlet. Know thy enemy. I didn’t get to be the best thief in Central City without paying attention to all the details.**

**“Know thy enemy’s coffee preferences” wasn’t ever said by Sun Tzu. You’ve moved out of recon and into stalking.**

It took a few minutes for Cold to reply to that. **Feels like you’re nervous about me stumbling on some dark secret. That means I’m right to pay attention.**

**You know my biggest secret, or we wouldn’t be having this conversation. Why**

“Barry!”

The speedster jumped and fumbled his phone away as Joe came into his lab. “I need the report on the Henson case.”

Barry just nodded and let his heart settle down as he shifted the folders on his desk around until he found the right one. “Here it is.”

“Thanks.” Joe paused mid-turn and looked at Barry. “You okay, son? I didn’t mean to startle you, but you must have been pretty engrossed in conversation.”

Damn his pale complexion being the perfect billboard to advertise his embarrassment. “Just having a discussion.”

But Joe smiled knowingly, which did not help Barry’s blushing, and said, “Don’t let me stop you. See you at home, Barr.”

Barry pulled his phone out to finish his message as soon as Joe was out of sight. **Why are you researching me instead of your next heist?**

**Who says I can’t multitask? I’m exceptionally talented at it; I’ll have to show you sometime.**

Barry hadn’t calmed down from Joe’s intrusion and now he felt too warm all over. Considering how Snart might make good on that promise was not helpful. And what the hell was he supposed to say to that? There was one thing he wanted to ask above anything else, but he didn’t think he should, lest he let on that he was too invested in this. But if it would resolve the ache in his chest one way or the other, he needed to.

**Why are you doing this, really?**

It took Snart so long to reply that Barry was back to work when his phone buzzed. He picked it up, almost afraid to read the reply. **You’re fun, Scarlet. I’ve never had a lot of that in my life. So why not spend time with you now that we’ve come to an understanding?**

Too warm. Cold was far too good at getting Barry hot and bothered. Unfair since Barry couldn’t return the favor to the cool-tempered thief. Snart did make it sound like he wanted to be _friends_ with Barry, of all things.

**Heists aren’t fun?**

**Of course they are. You’re just a special kind of fun all by yourself.**

And, fuck, Barry was getting hard at work. Not good. He set his phone down and scooted in closer to his desk. If this was how bad his crush on Captain Cold was, he was screwed. Especially since he was supposed to play boyfriend with the thief and have a romantic dinner. Would Snart kiss him? He’d said that they’d been going out for three months; if they wanted to make it look convincing, they’d have to kiss at least once.

And Barry had to stop thinking about it, because the temptation to touch himself was getting stronger. He wasn’t going to masturbate in the precinct to the idea of Captain Cold kissing him while “multitasking”. He wasn’t.

**Don’t pretend you don’t know you’re special. You heroes and your ridiculous modesty is sickening.**

He _wasn’t_. Snart saying those things had his heart pounding, and it had been a long time since Barry had gotten this excited and flustered over someone. It was bad that it was Snart, but it was still like part of him had been holding its breath and was finally breathing freely again. He’d tried to feel anything like this with Linda, but it didn’t quite connect.

**You know this date is fake, right? You don’t have to sweet talk me.** Barry had to mitigate the fallout before it happened. Snart couldn’t just say all this stuff and get his hopes up.

**I won’t say I’ll never lie to you, Barry; I will. But not without good reason. There’s no reason to lie about such an obvious truth. Didn’t think I’d have to accuse you of being slow, Flash.**

And Barry was back to heart flutters and warm feelings inside. He set his phone aside again and tried to calm down. He didn’t know what to say to that anyway. Better to work for a while.

Barry had almost put Cold from his mind when his phone buzzed again, and he groaned. **Fancy a walk in the park tonight? We can discuss our upcoming date.**

**Already have a lot of “walking” planned for tonight. Keeps me busy.**

**When do you usually patrol? I’m a night owl; I can wait till you finish your late shift.**

Cold seemed quite eager to see him again, and Barry tried not to read into it. It was Monday, Cold probably just wanted to get the details settled so he could be done with Barry until Friday.

**If it’s a slow night, we usually quit about midnight, but we have our system set to alert me if something big comes over the wire.** Barry thought he probably shouldn’t be giving Cold these details, but he was certain Snart could figure it out for himself, given enough time.

**So, a midnight stroll it is. You can let me know if your night isn’t slow.**

**It’ll help if you refrain from stealing anything tonight.**

**I’ll have to check my calendar.**

Barry laughed. Damn that charming thief. Already the speedster was longing to have his patrol over with so he could see the older man.

**One problem: no room for my cell in my suit. If I get held up I won’t have any way to let you know. I can’t exactly ask my friends to send that message for me.**

**Why? Ashamed of me, Barry?**

Barry felt an abrupt surge of anger. **You kidnapped Caitlin, and Heatwave threatened to burn her skin off and nearly blew her up. You kidnapped Cisco and his brother, made him build you weapons, froze his brother’s hands, and forced him to betray my confidence. _Yes_ , I feel ashamed for fraternizing with you after everything you’ve done to them.**

**Fair point. I’ll just head into the park around midnight and walk around until you can catch up with me. Sound like a plan?**

Snart just took his anger in stride. Of course, the thief knew he deserved it. Still, Barry felt bad that he might have to make him wait. **It’s autumn already. It’s going to be forty-one degrees outside. If you run around in your parka, people will recognize you.**

**Chill out, Scarlet. I’m an evil mastermind; I’m not stupid enough to get spotted.**

Barry had deliberately refrained for saying “cold” in any way, shape, or form in his message, but he knew Snart would show no such restraint. **Are you though? Evil?**

**Let’s call me Chaotic Neutral. I’m a fan of doing whatever I feel like doing.**

That was a damn geeky reference, but Barry wasn’t surprised that a man who liked to plan things out in detail would have experience with a game played with maps and figures and carefully constructed characters. Of course, Barry saw Captain Cold as more of a Dungeon Master than a player. He would not want to play a Cold campaign.

**Tell me something I don’t know.**

**You look good in that skintight suit.**

The room was suddenly stifling. That was outright flirting. After Barry established that Snart didn’t need to. And after Snart said he wouldn’t lie without good reason. Barry suddenly wanted to wear his suit to meet with Cold, which was stupid, because it was likely their conversation would be overheard on the comms. And stupid because he couldn’t be getting so invested in this.

A crush was bad enough; Barry couldn’t let this evolve further into an infatuation or worse, falling in love with Captain Cold. That wasn’t acceptable. That would be a disaster.

His phone buzzed. **See you tonight, Barry.**

Barry couldn’t wait, his chest light and stomach warm. He was so fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fun fun. Let me know if you’re having fun too. I know a lot of this is them texting, but it’s not like Barry is suddenly going to spend all his time with Len without any set-up. That giddy feeling from texting his crush is interspersed with darker feelings, given their history and everything Barry is trying to avoid.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More set-up for their date.

“12:14. Not bad, Flash.” Snart smirked at Barry as the speedster was suddenly walking beside him.

Barry had changed into jeans and a button-up under a sweater, but he had a warm red jacket on over that. Snart was wearing all black pants, shoes, and long sleeved shirt, with a black insulated vest and a black ski cap to keep him warm.

“Nothing big tonight. Thanks for refraining from any heists.” Barry smiled at the thief despite himself.

“Of course. Wouldn’t want to delay our walk.”

Barry jumped as Snart slid a cold hand into Barry’s warm one. “What are you doing?!”

Cold chuckled. “I don’t execute any plan without extensive preparation and practice. If you freak out every time I touch you, you’ll blow our cover. Besides, I’ve been waiting forty-four minutes for you; warm me up, Scarlet.”

Barry blushed and refused to meet Snart’s gaze. “Not my fault you show up half an hour early. And if you try anything funny, I’m leaving.”

Cold’s free hand brushed Barry’s face and turned him so their eyes met. “What kind of humor did you have in mind? I hadn’t planned any comedy, but you seem to have thought of something.”

Those blue eyes were too beautiful and dangerous. Barry wrenched away from those cool fingers. “Hand holding is acceptable.”

“Mmmm, how about any move I make, I’ll give you time to stop me? Not that you need time. You have superpowers, Flash. But even if you didn’t, I’m not about to make a victim of you. This is one situation where the rules must be followed. Consent is essential, Barry. Say no or push me away and I’ll stop.”

The criminal needed to stop winning Barry over. He wasn’t supposed to behave like a gentleman and respect Barry’s boundaries. “Fine. But we weren’t here to do anything besides plan our date.”

Snart leaned close to say right into Barry’s ear, “Multitasking. I’m fantastic at it.”

Barry shivered at the warm breath on his cool skin. “Bet I’m better. I played Operation, ping pong, and chess at the same time.”

“And you won every game?” Snart sounded only mildly interested at this confession.

“Except chess. But that would happen even at regular speeds when you’re playing against a master. Anyway, did you make a reservation?”

“I did. 6:00. You’ll probably be out of work, if no one commits any huge crimes, and still early enough that you won’t be obliged to play Flash, unless someone commits a huge crime. Scheduling with you is a challenge, Barry.”

There was no way Barry could admit how much he enjoyed holding hands and strolling with Captain Cold through the park on a chilly fall evening under a moon-drenched landscape. Because of course the moon was full. “That will hopefully work. Still trying to think of a good excuse to tell Caitlin and Cisco when I ask them to refrain from contacting me unless it’s an emergency.”

“Can’t tell them you have a date?”

Barry glanced at Cold. “Not without getting their interest. Iris already heard about you thanks to the barista you didn’t bother to lower your voice in front of. She was ready to give you a shovel talk, which would likely only amuse you anyway.”

“And if your other friends looked into our date, they’d quickly find you were fraternizing with the enemy.”

“Hey, you understand why none of us are ready to forgive and forget, right?” Barry pulled his hand away and stopped walking.

Snart shrugged. “I do. I can’t say I’m sorry, because it all went according to plan and I got what I wanted: you. But I suppose I’m sorry that they have lasting trauma. That wasn’t part of the plan.”

It was like the whole world was muffled. Cold said that he wanted Barry. Maybe just for the blackmail, but his tone made it sound like more. And all those feelings Barry had been holding at bay were coming to the surface. He knew he was blushing, and it was a bad sign that he had to stop himself from grabbing the older man’s hand and twining their fingers together again.

“I’m just glad you’re a bit more chill about it, at least. No fun to have the hero mad at me.”

Barry was brought back to the present. “Yeah, well…I wasn’t the one getting traumatized. Makes it easier for me to deal with.”

Captain Cold slid an arm around Barry’s waist and pulled him into motion again. This time, Barry tentatively slid his arm around Cold’s waist as well. It made Cold hug him closer for a moment. “That’s right. You can’t be terrified of your boyfriend’s touch, Barry.”

A thrill went through Barry at that. It was getting harder and harder to remind himself that this was pretend; that Snart was playing a game that would end when they parted on Friday. That thought killed the thrill and a dull ache settled in his chest.

Snart must have sensed Barry’s sudden reluctance, because he slid his hand up and down Barry’s side, drawing pleasant shivers from the speedster. And, against his will, Barry drew closer to the thief and held him tighter. “Good to see the lightning didn’t damage your nervous system’s sensitivity.”

Barry almost told him that he was more sensitive than he used to be, thanks to his regeneration. But he managed to keep it in. “It didn’t damage anything, Snart.”

Snart managed to slide a cool hand under Barry’s jacket and shirts to touch warm skin. Barry gasped and actually put both arms around the thief, because fuck his reflexes embarrassing him. They halted again. “Barry, when we’re together like this it’s Len.”

Forcing himself to let go and step away, Barry said, “Len. Right. Of course. Well, now that we’ve established our date, I should really go. I have work tomorrow and need my sleep.” He wouldn’t look at the thief.

“Barry, wait a second.” Snart had obviously seen Barry’s intention to run. He pulled the speedster back into his arms and drew Barry’s face close to his. But at the wrong angle for a kiss. Except the pair of lips that pressed against Barry’s forehead were wonderfully warm and gentle. “Sleep well, Scarlet Speedster.”

And Barry ran.

(-)

“So, what were you up to last night, Barr?” Joe asked when Barry came down for breakfast.

Barry tensed, not expecting Joe’s seemingly informed question. “Went for a walk. Why?”

“Oh, the Flash wasn’t seen after midnight when your patrol normally ends, but you didn’t get in until past 1:00.” Joe turned a page of his newspaper as Barry dished a mountain of scrambled eggs out onto a plate along with several pieces of bacon.

Pausing in his reach for the hot sauce, Barry looked at Joe. “It’s sometimes nice to walk at normal speeds. Why do you want to know?”

“Just remembered how flustered you were yesterday. Add in the fact that Iris wouldn’t say anything when I asked her if there was someone new in your life, and I had myself a mystery. You know I hate leaving those unsolved.”

Fuck no. Barry couldn’t have Joe investigating who Barry was seeing, because the answer was the notorious nemesis of the Flash: Captain Cold. But how to put Joe off in a way that wouldn’t make him more suspicious?

Grabbing both the hot sauce and sugar, Barry sat down at the table to eat. “Look, Joe, we haven’t even been on a date yet. And…all the people who know I’m the Flash know all the intimate details of my life. For once, I want something that’s just…mine. If it gets serious, you’ll know, but in the meantime, could you give me some privacy?”

Joe sighed. “Fine, Barry. But promise me that if this goes bad, you won’t suffer in privacy. We know all the details of your life because we care about you.”

That made Barry smile warmly before he started shoveling sweet-spicy eggs into his mouth. Joe grimaced. “I don’t care if I’ve known you your whole life; your eggs will never stop being disgusting.”

Barry finished a mouthful of delicious eggs and said, “I just have a refined sense of taste.” Joe laughed at that, and Barry added, “I promise.”

That settled, Barry finished his meal while Joe left for work. Perks of super-speed meant leaving a little later and shoving a bit more food in his face. He sped through the dishes and left for the precinct. He could only assume that a few calm days meant hell would break loose today.

(-)

Barry hated being right. Someone had ritual sacrificed Norbert Godfrey, a middle-aged mild-mannered accountant, in a spectacularly messy fashion. Barry saw a lot of death, but that was…too much. The most significant clue left at the scene was homemade candles used for the ritual. The killer made his own or bought them from an organic craftsman. Either way, it was up to Barry to identify the individual ingredients and any unique traits that could lead them to a specific location.

Right before lunch Barry threw up when his tests showed that the fat rendered to make the candles came from human beings. At least three, if Barry guessed right.

Joe, Eddie, and Singh all seemed to wipe away their expressions after initial horror when Barry told them. Being able to compartmentalize made them good at their jobs. On a case like this, it was compartmentalize or fall apart. Barry wasn’t doing so well.

“I need the DNA analysis on those fat samples as soon as possible, Allen,” Singh said.

Barry nodded. “I put a rush on it; we should have results before lunch tomorrow. Hopefully sooner.”

Normally Barry would expect to be yelled at and told that wasn’t good enough, but Singh just turned away without another word. Joe put a hand on Barry’s shoulder as Eddie went back to his desk. “Barr, this is a bad one. Even if there’s no meta involvement, I think we should use every resource that we have on this.”

“Agreed. I already sent samples to STAR Labs in hopes Caitlin can get something faster than police resources. I still need to fill them all in on what the samples are…from.” Barry gagged a little.

Joe pulled Barry into a hug. “Just slow down for a minute.” When his dad pulled back to meet Barry’s eyes, they were full of concern. “Eddie and I have to chase down a lead on our victim, but are you gonna be okay?”

No. Barry didn’t think okay existed anymore. People shouldn’t _do_ that to other people. It shouldn’t be possible. Superspeed, steel skin, teleporting, fine. But not _that_.

“I just need to get back upstairs and sit down for a minute. This is insane, Joe. And that’s coming from _me_ , with everything that happens in _my_ life.”

A grim smile flashed across Joe’s face before it was gone. “Yeah, son, your life makes perfect sense compared to something like this.”

One more squeeze on Barry’s shoulder before Joe pulled on his jacket and followed Eddie out of the precinct. Barry just went up the stairs in a slow, deliberate fashion. He sat down at his desk, not certain what he should do next. Well, besides replace the bag in his trashcan.

Once he’d done that and sat down again, he noticed he had a message. **Got a free lunch hour, Scarlet?**

The first strong emotion hit him since he’d gotten the test results: anger. What the hell did Snart want with Barry _now_? **No. And I’m not playing any games today, Snart.**

There was an almost instant response. **Are you okay, Barry?**

Barry blinked back sudden tears. It didn’t mean anything. Cold just wondered why Barry was angry because playing with a cranky hero was no fun. **No.**

Another immediate reply. **Want to talk about it?**

God, that made Barry want to call the thief right then. It was ridiculous, because it was just a text, which was even easier to lie with than spoken words, but Barry _felt_ Snart’s concern in those messages. But he couldn’t talk about an active case with a criminal mastermind.

**I was just saying that my speed is the most logical and natural thing in this world compared to some of the things other people are capable of.**

**That bad?**

**Worse. I’ve seen people beaten to death, shot, or stabbed, even electrocuted into a crisp, but nothing like this.**

**So are you going to eat lunch at all?**

Barry sighed. **Probably not. I don’t want to leave the precinct, and I have a few more tests to run and reports to finish.**

When Barry received no reply, he went back to work. Half an hour later, the smell of heaven wafted into his lab when Officer Simmons came in with two big bags in his arms.

“Allen, a friend of yours dropped these off since you were too busy to get lunch.”

Barry swiftly relieved Simmons of his burdens and said, “Thanks for bringing them up here, Simmons. I appreciate it.”

Simmons just looked at Barry holding the two grocery-sized bags of what smelled like Big Belly Burger. “Why are you such a skinny guy, Allen? You should be a big obese guy. Seriously.”

That drew a genuine laugh from Barry. “Still got my youthful metabolism, I guess. Thanks again, Simmons.”

When the officer left Barry closed the door to his lab behind him and ate both bags at superspeed. While he kind of wanted to savor what looked like one of every item on the menu, he quickly realized that he really needed the calories after losing most of his breakfast.

Picking up his phone, Barry sent a message. **You saved me with those two bags of what would have been multiple heart attacks for a normal person. Thanks, Len.**

**Can’t have the city’s hero in anything less than top condition. If you got defeated by someone who isn’t me, I’m not sure my pride would recover.**

However selfishly Cold tried to frame it, the truth was that he cared enough about Barry to make sure that he wasn’t starving. With all the stalking he’d done, Barry knew that Snart would have figured out Barry’s high caloric intake needs. The two enormous bags of food only confirmed that theory.

**Admitting you care about me being fed just for my own sake wouldn’t be very Cold, would it?**

**You need a lot of rescuing, Barry. Couldn’t have you swooning into someone else’s arms.**

Cold was really good at not addressing statements he didn’t want to. **Well, whatever your motives are, thanks.**

**You’re welcome, Scarlet. Maybe we can find some time tomorrow to perfect our plan.**

There was a warm jolt in Barry’s stomach. Snart wanted to see him again. Apparently to practice playing boyfriend and touching Barry. Those hands were so much more dangerous when they were free of the cold gun. Barry knew how to handle being shot at. Being caressed and teased with those calloused, beautiful hands? Not so much.

**We’ll see. Sorry my schedule is so justice-centric.**

**Casualty of heroism. It’s just who you are, Barry. I wouldn’t change a thing.**

The warmth was spreading through Barry rapidly, because the way Snart was talking to him sounded like he actually liked Barry. Maybe he did. Maybe this boyfriend charade was just a way to pursue Barry without admitting to anything. It was a dangerous idea. That kind of thinking would lead Barry into deeper, murkier waters he might very well drown in. He couldn’t fall for Captain Cold. He couldn’t.

**Especially not your costume.**

He _couldn’t_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, serial killer just popped onto the scene, unplanned. I knew my brain would find something plotty eventually. Hence it being a breeding ground for plot bunnies.
> 
> Also, I’m aware that Snart’s definition of consent is not the best one, but it is for their situation. If he asked to kiss Barry, Barry would feel obliged to say no. If he just kisses Barry, it’s easier for Barry to accept by just not pushing him away. But I’m aware that is not strict consent.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plotiness. And, duuuuude, this got really dark. Promise there’s still fluff and eventual smut. Promise.

“So, what’s up with these samples and the super-cryptic messages, Barry?” Caitlin asked as soon as Barry walked into the Cortex.

Barry was mostly past immediate nausea at the mention of the case. He, at least, was no longer in danger of actually throwing up. He looked from Caitlin to Cisco to Wells. They’d seen a lot, but nothing quite like this.

Plugging in a thumbdrive with files he was not supposed to take from the precinct, Barry pulled up the driver’s license photo of Norbert Godfrey first. “This man was murdered in a ritualistic manner. I’m pulling up the crime scene photos, so try not to freak out.”

“We have seen some gnarly things, Barry, I don’t think-” Cisco stopped and covered his mouth as the picture of the body came up.

“One cannot help but notice that among the…disarray of flesh, there is an evident lack of fatty tissue.” Wells took everything in stride.

“But it wasn’t his fat you sent me, Barry.” Caitlin, while looking queasy, was also holding on better than Barry had and Cisco was.

“No, it wasn’t. I tested the homemade candles around the body and found that they were made of rendered human fat. That’s where I got the samples.”

“Oh my god.” Cisco said nothing more before he leaned into the trashcan beside his work station and threw up.

Barry winced in sympathy, but also felt a little better that he wasn’t the only one so deeply affected by the case. The cops at the station had pretty much taken it in stride. Cisco had a big heart, and if his kind and cheerful nature was what made him react that way, Barry actually felt a lot better that he had the same reaction.

Of course, as Caitlin went to Cisco to help him, Barry flashed away and got him some water. “Sorry, Cisco. That happened to me too.”

“On the slightly brighter side, his victims are not as horrifying as they could be.” Wells moved to the main computers and pulled up four profiles. “Caitlin found matches to the DNA you sent her, and they do not merit tears.”

Caitlin left Cisco with Barry to join Wells and pull up details. “Not that anyone deserves that, but at least it isn’t children and little old ladies. In fact, the killer seems to be targeting people who make victims of innocents. Jorge Santinez,” Caitlin pulled up the mugshot of a bald Latino gangster, “was charged with strangling his elderly mother to death, but they didn’t have enough evidence to make the charges stick.”

“Jeremy Fenton was arrested for beating his wife and children, including their newborn, which suffered permanent brain damage. His wife withdrew the charges, and five months later her baby died of ‘unknown causes’ and her four-year-old will never walk again.” Wells seemed to have a frightening level of malice in his voice as he listed the man’s crimes.

Caitlin pulled up a photo of a skinny guy with slicked back black hair. “Laurence Fowler seduced three single mothers before raping them in front of their children. He must have made some impressive threats, because not one of them was willing to testify against him.”

When the last photo, one of a well-kempt, attractive young man, came up, Wells had a very ugly look as he said, “Stanley Kell ran a daycare until some of the parents noticed disturbing tendencies in their children after they had to stay late. No charges were filed or accusations made, but those parents withdrew their children. Others quickly followed until he no longer had a business.”

Barry had an arm around Cisco, who seemed unsteady in his chair. “All of them were despicable criminals that couldn’t be stopped.” Cisco’s voice sounded tight.

“This serial killer is also a vigilante. In his mind, harvesting fat and making candles from bad guys must be the only way to ensure they never hurt anyone again. Although I’m not sure even my mind is up to the task of trying to figure out the logic jump from ‘absolute justice’ to ‘people candles’,” Wells said.

Cisco abruptly got up. “I need to clean up.” He left without saying anything else.

“I hope he’ll be okay,” Caitlin said after he’d gone.

“Cisco is tender-hearted, but he’s tough too. He’ll get through this.” Wells sounded confident.

Barry was trying to distract himself by reading the last message he had gotten from Snart. **Let me know when you want to talk, Barry.**

He almost jumped as his phone rang while he was holding it. Wells and Caitlin looked curious, but Barry just answered Joe’s call. “Hey, Joe.”

“Barr, you aren’t going to believe what we found out about Godfrey.” Joe sounded both disturbed and eager, probably because he hated a case with no leads.

“He’s secretly a despicable criminal who preys on innocents in some way.” Barry didn’t bother to sound surprised.

There was a significant pause. “He was making child porn under an alias. How did you know that?”

“Because the DNA results of the four donors to the killer’s candles fit that same profile. But, Joe, no one is crying over these guys either. This serial killer is a vigilante.”

Joe started cursing. “Iris called to tell me this case has been leaked to the media already. The ‘Candle Killer’ is going to eat up the attention. When word gets out he’s a vigilante too, we may have some sick fans coming out of the woodwork.”

“I’ll send the results to Captain Singh only. We know he’s not the leak. Look, I’ve still got patrol for tonight, so I’ll see you later.”

“You up for patrolling? You were pretty green earlier. Do you have enough food in you?”

Barry got an unpleasant suspicion where this was going. “Yeah, I got some food delivered for lunch.”

“Or someone dropped off two huge bags of Big Belly Burger? Does this new man in your life know you’re the Flash?”

“He knows I eat a lot, Joe. And remember when I asked for privacy? This is not privacy.” Barry turned away from the curious gazes of Wells and Caitlin.

“Hey, I didn’t go looking for this; he came to the station, and Simmons told me about it.”

The speedster only just refrained from growling in frustration. “Look, everything is fine, and I’d appreciate it if you’d leave the matter alone.” He was trying to speak quietly, but even the hallway to the Cortex had great acoustics.

“Fine, unless more clues fall into my lap. Can’t blame me for putting together pieces that get handed to me.”

“Fine, Joe. Bye.”

Turning to face Caitlin and Wells was about as uncomfortable as expected. “Barry, anything you’d like to tell us?” Caitlin’s voice and eyes held a gentle curiosity.

“Only what I told Joe: you guys know every detail of my life, and I want something to keep to myself. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.”

“As long as it isn’t dangerous; something that could get you hurt,” Wells said.

Oh, Barry was only scheduled to go on a date with his favorite nemesis who needed no superpowers to be the most dangerous criminal the speedster had faced. Which wasn’t limited to his skill with his cold gun. “Nothing dangerous.”

“And as long as ‘he’ treats you right.” Cisco had snuck up behind Barry without him noticing. Barry jumped. And promptly blushed.

He hadn’t discussed his preferences with his STAR Labs friends, mostly because it hadn’t come up. He didn’t anticipate any negative reaction. Cisco was already unphased. Caitlin was smiling at him with a slightly sly expression, and Wells seemed somehow satisfied.

“I’m not having this discussion. But I hope we can keep Friday afternoon and evening clear. I do have a date.” Barry couldn’t see any point in denying the reason he was asking off.

“We’ll just ask all the criminals to chill out for a few hours because the Flash suddenly has a romantic life.” Cisco was teasing but his phrasing had Barry turning bright red.

“Very funny, Cisco.” Barry sent a text to Snart. **No more coming to the station if you don’t want Joe launching a full investigation into you. If he thinks he’s protecting me, he will find you even if you hide in Antarctica.**

**Fine. So, I guess this “Candle Killer” is what has you so upset? I can see why.**

**What do you mean you can see?**

**The picture with the article isn’t a close-up on the body, but it shows enough. Not to mention you’re in it.**

**What?!**

**Not your face. But I’d recognize you anywhere, from any angle.**

Barry blushed. **Someone is leaking all this to the press. There’s likely to be a witch hunt at the precinct.**

**Don’t get burned, Scarlet.**

**If I’m in the leaked picture, it gives me some credibility.**

**Still, I’m here if you need an ear. Not to mention we haven’t fully planned our date.**

Cold was relentless. **Not tonight.**

**Tomorrow? Can’t have you shrinking from me on Friday.**

Reminding Barry that Cold’s “planning” actually meant lots of touching and physical affection was not helpful. **Maybe. If any more bodies drop I’ll likely be busy.**

**Fair enough.**

“Barry, are you sure you don’t want to share with the class?” Wells asked.

The speedster looked at his friends and realized he’d likely been telegraphing his emotions from his conversation. “Uh, Iris told Joe this story got leaked to the press. And apparently I’m in the picture with the article. Not my face, but still.”

“That is unfortunate. Men like this thrive on attention and being the topic of every discussion. It will embolden him to kill more. Perhaps enough to make him sloppy. Showboating often leads to mistakes that lead to being caught.” Wells was pragmatic and calm as always.

“Yeah, look what happened when Captain Cold kidnapped Caitlin and challenged you on live TV.” Cisco sounded bitterly satisfied.

“I hate to say it, but that actually worked. He clearly did it to make Barry reveal the Flash as real, not some urban myth. From there, he only needed to…get Barry’s identity in order to get leverage.” Caitlin hesitated at the mention of Cisco’s role in Cold’s plan.

Sure enough, Cisco tensed and looked down. Barry slid a hand around Cisco’s shoulders. “You know that wasn’t your fault. And I don’t want anyone dying or getting hurt protecting me. You think _you_ feel bad for saying my name and everybody living? Imagine how _I_ would feel if you kept quiet and you and your brother died. I’d never forgive _myself_ , Cisco. If those are the stakes, you can tell the whole world my name.”

Cisco wrapped his arms around Barry, and Barry hugged back, knowing Cisco was trying not to cry. It meant only Barry heard Cisco say, “That’s the thing: I don’t think he wanted to hurt us. He played it up well, but I was _sure_ he wouldn’t kill us. I couldn’t take the chance though. Our lives weren’t on the line and I still told.”

“Let’s agree to always err on the side of you living.” Barry whispered back.

But, of course, the conversation made Barry think of his opinion of his nemesis. Snart wasn’t as Cold as he wanted everyone to think. Calculating, dangerous, and devilishly clever, but underneath that ice was a better person than Snart would admit to.

It made the prospect of their date less frightening. Barry wasn’t crushing on an evil villain, just a Chaotic Neutral criminal. But it was still dangerous to let his guard down, to risk _feeling_ more for his nemesis. He knew the train he was on was going to run off the rails and crash spectacularly, but it was already moving too fast to jump off. But maybe, just maybe, it would stay on track. There were some promising indicators from Snart that meant there was some minute chance this could end well.

Cisco let go, and Barry offered him a fist. The fist bump made them both grin.

“Anyway, you ready for patrol, Barry? I’m sure there’s something a bit more light-hearted. Maybe a nice, easy mugging.” Caitlin smiled playfully, and it _did_ make Barry feel lighter. No matter what happened, he had friends like these and family like Joe and Iris for when things got bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, STAR Labs-centric chapter. But it’s the first we’ve seen of them anyway, so they were due some attention. By the way, when I said the suspicion about Wells was being dismissed, that didn’t mean that he isn’t the Reverse Flash. Just that that won’t be a prominent point for this fic.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, their date! Should be a pick-me-up after last chapter’s darkness…and a bit of initial darkness for this chapter.
> 
> Also, no need to point out what I’m sure are many restaurant inaccuracies. I see some of them. But I just made my peace with them, since researching fine dining more than I already have is not the best use of my time.

On Wednesday, they found Wade Jenkins, a foster-father who, unbeknownst to everyone including his wife, was molesting all the little boys that came through his house. Same MO of missing fat and people candles. The killer must have been storing the fat and making small batches of candles, because DNA tests on the next candles showed no Jorge, but Norbert had been added in.

Eddie thought the killer must be replenishing his supply when he ran out of a previous victim, but Barry pointed out that killing two days in a row and the slightly hastier made candles likely meant the Candle Killer was thriving off the media coverage. Which lead to a lecture from Singh to the entire precinct.

Long story short, Barry couldn’t meet up with Snart before their date. Hell, he felt pretty lucky he could make it at all. Standing at the entrance of Mario’s, a fancy Italian restaurant, wearing nice jeans, red Converse (yes, with lighting bolt decals on the sides), a white button up shirt, red tie, and dark brown blazer, Barry wasn’t sure if he was under-dressed or not. He’d been trying to strike a balance since he didn’t want to look like he was trying _too_ hard.

“You look like you’re ready for a hot date,” came a sinfully suggestive voice behind him. That cologne was making Barry excited already.

Barry barely kept himself from using his speed as he whirled to face Snart. If he thought the man’s voice was sinful, it was nothing compared to how he looked. A light navy pinstripe three-piece suit that had to have been tailored to fit that leanly muscled body. The tie tucked under the vest was, perhaps inevitably, a frosty blue, sort of a sky blue laced with silver.

“That is much more flattering than a parka,” was the first thing that fell out of Barry’s mouth.

Snart—Len, Barry kept reminding himself it was Len—laughed at that. “So if I wear this the next time _you_ get dressed up in your favorite outfit, will it trip you up?”

It wasn’t impossible. “Your parka serves a purpose, right? I think even the _Captain_ would find that outfit too _cold_ to be practical.”

A warm arm slid around Barry’s waist. “You know, Scarlet, if you start throwing puns at me, I might not be able to control myself.” Barry had no sooner shyly slid his arm around Len’s waist than the older man briefly nipped at Barry’s earlobe.

Barry’s whole body tensed up, and he had to admit that, yep, he was in a whole lot of trouble. Not because he couldn’t stand to stay and pretend with Cold, but because it did _not_ feel like pretending anymore. He knew Len was a good actor, good enough to make Barry ask himself if the criminal was acting at all.

There was no more time to think about it as Len brought them up to the hostess. “Reservation for two under the name Caldwell.”

She checked her list and smiled at them. “Of course. Right this way, gentlemen.”

Where Barry had hoped to have some space sitting across a table from Len, the hostess led them to a plush corner booth, where he would have no excuse to stay away from his apparent boyfriend of three months. When Len gave him a sly look, Barry knew this had been planned. Like everything the thief did.

Forced to slide in beside Len, the hostess handed them menus as Barry made his peace with being tucked up against his nemesis. “Your server will be out shortly.”

A hand turned Barry’s head so he could meet Len’s eyes. His gorgeous blue eyes. “Stop acting like I’ve got my cold gun pressed against your back. If you can’t actually enjoy the date, I’m pretty sure you can fake it. You must have _some_ acting ability if the whole city doesn’t know your identity yet. C’mon, Barry, play along.” The last part was said with fingers stroking across Barry’s check.

“My name’s Rebecca, I’ll be-oh, hi!”

They both turned to see Barry’s fangirl from the coffee shop, dressed in the plain uniform of the restaurant’s servers. Pretty shrewd of her to steer them to her own place of business. Barry had actually forgotten that _she_ was the reason he was on this date.

“Well, hello, Rebecca. So nice to see you.” Cold was all charm.

But Barry’s eyes had fallen on a short pillar candle that was burning in the center of the table. Same basic shape and size as the Candle Killer’s creations. He vaguely heard Len order some kind of wine, and when nudged and asked what he wanted to drink, Barry said, “Water. Could you take that away, please?” He gestured at the candle.

Rebecca’s eyes flicked to it and frowned. “Why? It’s part of the romantic atmosphere we pride-”

“He asked you to take it away.” That flat tone spurred Rebecca into obedience, and she and the candle were gone in moments. Barry hadn’t expected to hear the “Cold” voice tonight, or to be so glad to hear it.

When Len’s arm slid around his waist, Barry didn’t resist, and actually leaned in to hug the thief. Barry wished he had a real boyfriend like this. Not that Barry had ever had any kind of boyfriend. The one guy he’d gotten the nerve to ask out laughed and called him a skinny nerd. And a gross fag. It was the kind of thing that destroyed a guy’s confidence.

“Sorry, Barry, I didn’t factor that in like I should have.” Len’s voice was a rumble against Barry’s face.

“How could you have-” But, of course, how stupid was Barry? “You cased this like a heist, didn’t you? Floor plans and exit strategies and shift changes and everything.”

Len just kissed the top of Barry’s head. “You’re on a date with a criminal mastermind, not a civilian.”

“I definitely don’t mind.” Barry drew away to meet Len’s eyes, and, yeah, there was a kiss coming on.

“Sorry about that.” Rebecca was back with Barry’s water and two wine glasses. She poured some wine into each before setting the bottle on the table. “I’ll be back in a bit to take your orders.”

Moment broken, Len let Barry slide away and get a drink of his water. “Have some wine, Scarlet, it will loosen you up.”

Barry accepted the glass Len offered, but shook his head. “No, it won’t. Alcohol has no effect on me.” Then he took a sip.

Len’s glass was paused on the way to his mouth. “What?”

“Pesky side-effect of my metabolism. My body breaks the alcohol down faster than I can consume it. I’ve toyed with the idea of challenging someone to a drinking contest, but don’t want to risk someone’s stubborn competitive nature giving them alcohol poisoning when they couldn’t win anyway.”

Eyeing Barry as he finally sipped his own wine, Len said, “It’s probably for the best. Drunk driving kills people, and that’s at the max speeds a vehicle can reach. Drunk running from you could be a lot worse.”

Barry hadn’t considered that. “You’re right. Impaired judgement and slowed reaction times. Makes it seem less irritating that I can’t unwind and blow off steam like everyone else.”

Len’s hand reached to cover Barry’s on the table. “How _do_ you blow off steam, Scarlet?” His tone indicated that he had some specific ideas about the answer to that question. Lewd ones.

And to his horror, Barry’s hand vibrated in his excitement and arousal at being on the receiving end of such a pointed question. He snatched his hand back even as he saw Len’s pupils dilate like a sudden explosion.

“What was that?” Len’s tone was part wonder, part slow, knowing drawl as he watched Barry carefully avoiding contact with Len, examining his menu.

“Nothing. It just happens.”

“That’s not the kind of thing that ‘just happens’ or you’d be outed by now. So why-”

“Have you decided on your orders?” Rebecca was back.

Without taking his eyes off Barry, and despite not having looked at the menu, Len said, “I’ll have the Balsamic-and-Rosemary-Marinated Florentine Steak.”

Just hearing the word “steak” had Barry thinking of slabs of flesh with fat carved off. His face must have advertised his disgust, because Len quickly added, “On second thought, something simple but classic. I’ll just have the fettuccini alfredo.”

Glancing between the two of them, Rebecca seemed to know there was some reason for the switch, but not what it was. “And you, Barry?”

“I’ll have what he’s having.” Barry just handed her the menu. He didn’t want to think about meat anymore.

When she took Len’s menu and left, Barry hoped they wouldn’t need to have a discussion on meat. Len did not disappoint. “So, before we were interrupted, you were going to tell me why your hand vibrated under mine. It leaves a pleasant tingle behind.”

Barry knew he was bright red. “That sometimes happens when I’m nervous.” He was already holding the traitorous hand by the wrist under the table, in case it acted up again.

Len gave him a long look up and down before pulling Barry in closer. “Or aroused?”

Fuck his hand. Barry couldn’t hold it still. And Len just grinned. “You must have been making someone very happy since that lightning struck.”

Barry scowled at him. “I haven’t been making anyone but myself happy,” he said, then immediately looked away because, boy, he really hadn’t meant to say that.

When Barry glanced at Len and saw only skepticism, he flushed again, but this time with irritation. “Doing this? It’s a giveaway that I’m not normal. That I can move at an unnatural speed. That I’m the Flash. I’ve tried to be with one girl since the lightning, and I had to stop because…I was going too fast.”

Len pulled Barry closer at the same time Barry tried to put distance between them. It left them in the awkward position of Len’s arm around Barry’s shoulders while Barry leaned across the empty space on the bench, one hand on the seat and one on Len’s leg in an effort to steady himself.

“Shame that _no one_ knows Barry Allen is the Flash. No one who can enjoy and appreciate what each has to offer. Such a…shame.” On the last word, Len gave Barry’s earlobe much more prolonged attention with his teeth. And then stifled a noise as Barry’s hand vibrated on his leg.

Barry wasn’t sure he could get much more embarrassed. Len finally let Barry put much-needed space between them, and Barry didn’t know what to do. He didn’t dislike anything Len did to him, but… “How about not in public?”

“Is that an offer to continue in private?” Len chuckled as Barry shook his head. “You must admit, a couple should have a few slip ups in public. Smitten as we are with each other. Hard to keep our hands to ourselves.”

That made Barry laugh, even as he felt a little sad that none of that was true. “Nothing else to make me vibrate; that’s more than a little slip-up.”

“Fine.” Len looked Barry up and down. “ _If_ you were my boyfriend, what would you want to do to me in front of all these people?”

The sly challenge was tempting. “What I want to do?”

“Yes, Barry. What do you want to do to me right now?”

So Barry leaned in and kissed Len, gently, on the lips. Then sat down, bright red. Tame as the kiss was, he should _not_ have done that.

Len pressed his fingers to his lips and gave Barry an intrigued look. “Well, Scarlet, you are full of surprises. Why so shy?”

Don’t say it, don’t say it. Barry met Len’s eyes and couldn’t help but say it: “That’s the first time I’ve kissed a guy.” Damn it. He couldn’t have said, “villain” or “criminal” or “thief”? Those were all true too. But no, Barry had to blurt out the real truth.

“Your honesty is incredible, kid.” Len pulled Barry into a kiss that was much deeper and warmed Barry to his toes. He pulled away when his hands on Len’s arms started to shake.

“I didn’t plan to tell you that.”

“Afraid I’d tease you? Ask them to play a parody for us? ‘I Kissed a Guy and I Liked It’?”

Barry burst out laughing. Len joined him, even as people started to stare. They calmed, but Barry was aware of the eyes on them. “I don’t like when people stare and I’m not in the costume,” he said in a low voice.

“Easier to hide your blush under all that red, right? Don’t worry, Scarlet, they’re all just jealous of me.”

“Why is that?”

“Because my date is more enthralling than theirs.”

Barry knew he was bright red now. “Remember that I said you didn’t need to fake sweet-talk me for our fake date?”

“Remember when I said I won’t lie to you without a good reason?”

That was not helping Barry calm down. What was heading towards their table _was_ a distraction from embarrassment. The steak that Len had ordered and then decided against was set in front of him by some unknown server.

“I didn’t order this; I changed my mind,” Len said, rather forcefully as he saw Barry staring at the rare piece of meat.

He wasn’t going to throw up. Not here, not now. He hadn’t thrown up since he first got the lab results, he was fine, he was fine…

“It was ordered for this table,” the man said.

“Just take it away; we don’t want it.” Len wrapped an arm around Barry.

He was fine, he was fine. “Len, I don’t think…can we go?”

“Yeah, we can go.” Len reached into the pocket of his jacket and pulled out some bills folded together. “That will cover everything.”

Even as Len helped Barry out of the booth to leave, Barry couldn’t help but notice that Len reached right into that pocket for that specific set of bills. Part of an escape plan. Help with a quick getaway. The criminal mastermind was his hero.

When they got outside Barry felt like he could breathe again. “You had getaway cash ready?” he asked, trying to think of anything but bloody slabs of meat.

“Plan for everything, kid.”

“I can definitely appreciate all your planning now. Thank you, Len. Sorry to ruin our date.”

“Ruin? Now, Barry Allen, I have you all to myself out here and all those boring people are stuck in there. I think you _saved_ our date. My hero.”

Barry laughed a little. “That was actually going to be my line. I never thought I’d be a vegetarian, but there’s going to be a long stretch of me not eating any meat that still looks like what it came from.” He shuddered.

Before anything else could be said, the door to the restaurant opened. “I’m so sorry!” They turned to see Rebecca. “I went on break, but I scratched that order out; it should never have been sent to you. Are you okay, Barry? What’s wrong?”

Despite her irritating tenacity and suspicion-driven shenanigans, Barry could tell she actually cared about him. Even if he was apparently taken. Len answered for him, putting his arm around Barry to steer him away. “He’s just a really good guy who’s seen too many really bad things. I’ll take care of him.”

They started to walk away. “Wait, you overpaid, by, like, a lot! I have your change.”

“That’s the tip,” Len said, and Barry could hear the smug smirk as Rebecca made a somewhat strangled noise of disbelief.

“Goodnight,” she called after them. Len just waved without turning around.

It was a little after 7:00 when they settled on a bench in Hyde Park. “So, Barry, of all the things you could do, you chose to kiss me sweetly. But you’ve never kissed a man before? I assumed your reluctance with all of this had more to do with me being a criminal.”

“It does!” Barry protested, but then realized that sounded bad too. “Look, when you’re in love with a girl your whole life, and the one male crush you do ask out calls you a skinny-gross nerd-fag, it makes you stick with the option that, should you ever confess, she would not say anything like that to you.”

The look on Len’s face was suddenly kind of scary. “What kind of person would say something like that?”

“The captain of the Varsity soccer team at my college; I should have known better than to say anything at all.”

“No one has the right to treat you that way, Barry. No one.” The vehemence in Cold’s tone was surprising.

“Look, I know. But it made me really gun-shy. Not _your_ gun, of course. I mean-! Your _literal_ cold gun doesn’t scare me as much as that. But your _metaphorical_ gun does-oh my god, I sound like her.” Barry covered his face with his hands as Len laughed.

“Who do you know that sounds like that?”

“Just a friend. I don’t get to see her very often, but on her visits at least one of our conversations always has a pitfall of accidental innuendo that is followed by a babbling explanation that really just makes it all worse.” Barry laughed a little too. “Anyway, this has been amazing. Awkward disasters aside, this is perfect after the kind of week I’ve had.”

A sudden regret struck him as Barry realized that it all ended then and there, at the end of the date. It was probably for the best; Barry was playing a dangerous game that he probably wouldn’t win given that he liked the thief a hell of a lot more than when the evening began.

Barry’s phone went off: STAR Labs. He groaned. “One sec, Len. Hello?”

“Barry, you need to get to 22nd and Pine. There’s a convenience store robbery that turned into a hostage stand-off with the cops,” Cisco said. “Sorry to ruin your date, bro, but there’s an actual little old lady this time. Promise.”

“Why would that make ending my date any better? Fine, I’ll be there.” Barry hung up. “‘Actual little old lady’. I get that they need rescuing, but I don’t know why it becomes a point of conversation when he wants me to ditch my date.”

“So, guess we aren’t going out for frozen yogurt?”

Barry laughed. “Do you actually like that, or is that more puns?”

“Of course I like it; it’s cold.”

“Not even gonna touch that one. I gotta go, Len. Thanks for showing me an actual great time on our fake date.”

Len grabbed his wrist before he had a chance to run off. “Wait, Barry. Why not do this again? We had fun and neither of us does must socializing outside of our…vocational occupations. Do you enjoy my company, Barry? I certainly enjoy yours.”

Barry felt his face heat up and squirmed internally. Danger, Barry Allen. “Let’s discuss that later. You have my number, and I have civilians to rescue.”

“One more thing.” Len pulled Barry in for a kiss, more chaste than the last one he initiated. It was so nice it made Barry want to melt. “Go be a hero, Barry.”

One more grin for his date, and then Barry ran.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, that went all over the place. But I had fun and I hope you did too.
> 
> BTW, Caldwell means ‘cold well’.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After-date action! Hope you enjoy.

“With that kind of smile despite cutting your date short, it had to be amazing,” Cisco said with a grin when Barry flashed back into the Cortex. Patrol had been pretty routine after the hostage situation.

“Yes and no.” Barry had decided he could tell them some details as long as they weren’t about Len. It was too hard to keep his excitement to himself. “I got upset because there was a candle on our table, and he made them take it away. When he ordered steak he could see how it disgusted me, so he changed his order. And when they brought him the steak anyway, and I felt sick from how…rare it was, I asked to leave. So he paid and we left like it was no big deal.”

“He sounds amazing, Barry,” Caitlin said. “Very thoughtful and considerate for a first date.”

“Think he has a female friend or sister he could hook me up with? We could double,” Cisco suggested.

Barry couldn’t stop himself from laughing. His friends were startled, but Cisco asking to be hooked up with Lisa Snart was too perfect. Barry could tell Cisco still liked the beautiful thief, despite how she’d tricked him. He’d once caught Cisco looking at a mug shot that looked like a photo shoot, with her sly smile and devilish look for the camera.

“I’m not ready to introduce him to anyone yet; definitely not going to hook you up with his sister.” Barry would almost like to tell Len that Lisa should pursue Cisco if she really liked him, but the chances of Lisa mentioning that her brother’s boyfriend thought they would make a good couple were too high. Not to mention Barry was in dangerous waters with his own thief who, by his own admission, just thought Barry was fun. He wouldn’t offer Lisa a chance to toy with Cisco.

Something must have shown in his expression, because Caitlin said, “Barry, are you okay? He _was_ good to you, right?”

“Yeah, he was, just…still not sure he isn’t playing with me.”

Wells wheeled in. “Has he given you reason to distrust him?”

There was a laundry list of reasons to distrust Captain Cold, but none of them seemed to matter when Barry was actually with Len. “It’s…complicated.”

“Well, so are you, Barry. Probably why you would feel a need for someone else who’s complicated. Less-complicated people might not understand you as well.” Caitlin was pushing Barry towards wanting to actually date Cold, which was dangerous, despite her good intentions. It wasn’t her fault that Barry didn’t tell her who his “complicated” man was.

“You set up a second date yet?” Cisco asked. Barry should never have let this topic get started. But it was just too hard to keep it to himself.

Barry felt warm. Len had seemed so earnest about seeing him again. And there was no fangirl to throw off his trail this time. So it could be for no other reason than that Len enjoyed spending time with Barry…or was fucking with him. If he kept thinking this hard about it, Barry was gonna go into a paranoid tailspin.

“Since I had to make an excuse and leave, I told him to text or call me if he wanted a second date.”

“And has he-” Cisco began when Barry’s phone chimed.

Fuck. Barry checked, and it was Len. **Had fun, Barry. Hopefully next time we can stay out longer.**

“That’s him, isn’t it?” Cisco asked with a grin.

“Yeah, it’s him. He said he had fun.” Barry tried very hard to keep any disappointment out of his voice. Fun. That word was starting to really depress him. Barry was only fun to Len, nothing more. “Wants to stay out longer next time.”

“What reason did you give for leaving early?” Caitlin asked.

“I said a friend had an emergency, and I had to help them.” Barry smiled. “He thought it was nice that I couldn’t ignore a friend in need.”

That made Caitlin grin. “Thoughtful, considerate, and cool with you bailing on a date for a good reason. I like him.”

“Did you kiss?” Cisco asked playfully.

“You know, for saying we’d respect Barry’s privacy, we’re asking a whole lot of questions,” Wells said with a wry grin.

“Hey, I’m in a happy, stable, long-term relationship. No gossip to be had.” Caitlin _did_ look a little satisfied as she said it, though. Must be nice. Ready to be married to the love of your life who wasn’t dead. Although he was now married on a physical level to an older man. Till death do they part. Maybe not so stable. It was actually really weird. Especially since Stein was married too. But weird was the norm for Team Flash.

“And my last thing was with a beautiful criminal who kidnapped me. Let me live vicariously while I get over my relationship paranoia.”

Yeah, definitely _not_ sending Lisa Cisco’s way. Talk about making someone gun-shy. At least there were no literal guns involved in Barry’s situation.

There was a pause where even Wells seemed to be waiting for Barry to answer. Barry sighed. “Yes, we kissed. If we keep talking about this, I’ll get an urge to pass notes in class.”

“That’s enough of that, then,” Wells said.

“Oh, uh, one more thing, actually.” Caitlin looked hesitant. “I ran into Iris earlier, and she gave me the impression that she knew about your date. When I mentioned it was tonight, she obviously didn’t know. I’m sorry!” Caitlin grimaced. “She’s tricky.”

Barry groaned. She’d be pressing for details tomorrow. Better skip Jitters in the morning, in case she tried to catch him there. It would be a disaster for her and Len to meet. Jessica might not pay a lot of attention to the news, but Iris’s business was the Flash. She knew what Captain Cold looked like.

“It’s okay. She’s determined, I know. I don’t blame you.”

(-)

Determined was one word for it. The next day, before lunch, Iris marched into his lab looking furious. She closed the door behind her and got right up in Barry’s personal space. “Barry Allen, why are you dating _Captain Cold_?!”

Oh, Barry was _so_ fucked. “Uh…seemed like a good idea at the time?”

“He is a _criminal_ , Barry! You work for the _police_! Not to mention all he’s done to the _Flash_!” Iris’s outrage seemed to peak at the last point.

He really should have told Len not to go to Jitters today either. Of course Iris would have Jessica point to Barry’s mystery man if he was there. “Look, ignoring the questionable legality of having a relationship with him, he’s not so bad. He doesn’t even hurt people anymore.”

“Anymore. Barry, he’s _killed_ people.”

Barry didn’t need to be told that; he was there. He was haunted by all the people he couldn’t save, and the man who was iced over with the cold gun was prominent. It was one of the things that Len helped him forget. Which was bad, he knew, to forget victims, especially Len’s victim, but Barry liked having the ghosts kept at bay.

“Look, Iris, I _like_ him. I have for a while. I can’t _help_ it. I tried telling myself it’s a bad idea, reminding myself of all the reasons it can’t work, but it’s all background noise when I’m with Len.” Barry thought of their date the previous evening. “Len is really kind to me, and thoughtful.”

“‘Len’? That far gone, huh?” Iris sighed. “You know my dad is going to have an aneurysm and then shoot your boyfriend, right?”

“Fuck, Iris, you can’t tell Joe. He _will_ initiate a manhunt and kill Len. He’s already trying to figure it out. I got him to back off a bit, told him I wanted some privacy, but we both know that won’t keep him at bay forever.”

“Definitely not. But, Barry, shouldn’t you be trying a bit harder to _not_ date a supervillain?”

“He’s a criminal mastermind. _Super_ villian implies _super_ powers, and he doesn’t have any.”

“That was _super_ not my point. I’m worried, Barry. He could hurt you.” Iris stroked Barry’s face affectionately.

Even a week ago, Barry would have killed for that. Now, it just felt…nice. Reassuring. And he was okay with that. Barry had to ask himself if the reason he’d carried a torch for Iris all these years was _because_ he’d carried it all these years. It was familiar. Comfortable. And it was what had gotten him through that spectacularly painful rejection from his male crush.

“Len wouldn’t hurt me. Not physically.” The thief knew it was pointless, at least without the cold gun. “And heartbreak is a risk of any relationship.” In his case, it was unfortunately an almost foregone conclusion, but he was already stuck with it. How could he just push Len away? Just ignore his texts and phone calls? Would Len push things, try harder to make Barry pay attention, or would he give up if Barry wasn’t fun to play with anymore?

This was becoming deeply depressing. “Look, Iris, can you just not tell Joe? Or anyone else for that matter? My best friend will keep my secrets, right?”

Iris lightly punched his arm. “Don’t pull that card on me. Of course I will. But I will also not tolerate him mistreating you. So you have to tell me about him.”

That was so dangerous. Their relationship was fictional, and while Len hadn’t said anything about it to make it serious, Barry’s feelings were already too serious to ignore.

“Fine. Not everything, but we can talk about it. Not like anyone else knows the truth.” In fact, this could be a good thing. He wouldn’t have to talk about a vague mystery man like he did at STAR Labs the night before.

Iris grinned. “So Caitlin said you had your first date last night. Tell me about it. How does a criminal mastermind woo a guy?”

Barry couldn’t help but smile as well. He gave Iris an only slightly more detailed account of his evening, minus vibrating and Rebecca that revealed his secret identity and the fictional aspect of their relationship.

By the time he finished, Iris was nodding. “Okay, that _is_ promising. That’s how he should treat you, and it’s how he’d better _keep_ treating you.”

The threat in her tone made Barry wary. “Please don’t shovel talk Captain Cold. Even if he isn’t violent by nature, _not_ threatening career criminals is just sensible, Iris.”

“If he’s the guy you think he is, I have nothing to fear. If he isn’t, then you really shouldn’t be dating him.” Iris just pulled Barry up to give him a tight hug. “You are my best friend, Barry, and you deserve nothing but the best.”

She let him go with a wave and left his lab. She left the door open, and Joe wandered in not long after. “What was that look on her face?” he asked suspiciously, pointing the direction she had left and he had come.

Uh-oh. “What look?”

“The one that means she has a new lead, probably about a story on the Flash,” Joe said, the severity in his tone intensifying.

Barry laughed a little at that, relieved. “Joe, she’s not coming to me about the Flash. She has no reason to.” He tried to think quickly. “She was planning something with Eddie and wanted some feedback. She has some plans to work on now. That’s the determination you saw.”

“Ah. Eddie.” Even if Joe had somewhat made his peace with Iris and Eddie’s relationship, he had never stopped encouraging Barry that he belonged with Iris instead. Joe had plenty of reasons to want his daughter and foster son together. Not the least of which was that he knew everything about them and didn’t have to do any strenuous background checks.

Right, this was his chance to keep Joe from asking more questions that would lead to Len. “What did you need Joe?”

“Oh, Captain wanted the forensics on the crime scenes’ irregularities. Since you, Eddie, and I are his inner circle on this, he wanted them hand-delivered. If we don’t find the leak soon, he might burn this place to the ground in his witch hunt.”

Captain Singh had been on the warpath when details kept making it into the media, and he’d decided to restrict the most essential information to Joe, Eddie, and Barry, having deemed them above reproach. Barry had been avoiding Singh to escape his usual outpouring of frustration onto Barry.

“He won’t be happy. The forensics irregularities are that there are no forensics. The victims had no ligature marks of any kind, no drugs in their systems, and no head trauma that would explain why they didn’t try to stop what was happening to them. Forensics says they just lay there and let themselves be filleted and de-fatted. And any security cameras in the surrounding areas just seem to look away of their own accord as the killer passes by. All the technical analysis that’s been run says it wasn’t part of their programming to do that. A lot of them weren’t even made to move.”

Joe took the file Barry handed him and surveyed it. “Sounds like an ‘unusual’ case. Do we have our friends working on that aspect?”

“I was going to discuss it tonight before patrol. I thought maybe the cameras could be some kind of ability to manipulate technology, but it wouldn’t explain the lack of restraints. They could probably add some more ideas.”

“Good, because this has gotten out of control.” Joe took the folder and left.

Barry sent a text to Len before he forgot. **So, you probably have a shovel talk coming your way. I haven’t mentioned to anyone that this relationship is fictional, so if you could play along, that would help.**

**Oh? Did Detective West figure me out after all?**

**No, Iris did. She had Jessica point you out at Jitters, and she now knows I’m dating a wanted criminal.**

**I thought she recognized me. Oh well, I can handle threats from a determined young woman.**

Barry rolled his eyes. **Just try to make a decent impression. I got her on board enough that she isn’t telling Joe…yet.**

**Fine, I’ll play nice. For you, Scarlet.**

That made Barry blush. He hoped that Iris wouldn’t mention how much Barry liked Len, or how invested he was in this “relationship”.

Eddie poked his head in the door. “Another body, Barry. Get your gear.”

Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, everyone is pretty on-board with Barry’s relationship, although only Iris is doing so with full disclosure.
> 
> Also, although accurate, I never realized how creepy it is to use a marriage metaphor for Firestorm. A young and old man are married and have to stay near each other forever, and when Ronnie dies, Stein’s life is in danger until he gets a shotgun marriage to another young man. Sounds ultra creepy that Stein needs a young man in his life to become one with. Ultra creepy. And, yes, I’m aware it’s not like that, but it could be termed that way without being an inaccurate metaphor.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, let’s see what happens next, shall we? Also, please forgive any police procedure inaccuracy. Most notably that, even if there was an information leak in their department, one lab tech would not be forced to do all the work.

(-)

Barry didn’t make it to STAR Labs that night, or to patrol. He was too busy working the crime scene of one Robert Pell, who, when he was IDed, was discovered to have three women in his basement that he was using for breeding. The police rescued the three women, one small child, two toddlers, and one newborn.

Even after he finally left the crime scene, he went to process the victim/perpetrator’s residence. Then he was in his lab processing all the evidence he’d gathered. Normally he’d be sharing the burden with other lab techs, but he was the only one Singh trusted. Sometimes being trustworthy sucked.

Barry woke with a groan the next morning, back stiff from sleeping slumped forward onto his desk. Luckily his healing factor meant it didn’t stay stiff. Still, a change of clothes and a trip to Jitters was a must.

Standing in line, barely awake, Barry wasn’t ready to hear, “Fancy meeting you here, Scarlet.”

Suddenly wide awake and heart thumping, Barry turned in time to see Len smirk at him before sliding an arm around Barry’s waist. “Let me buy you a coffee, Barry, you look like death chilled over.”

That forced a snort from the speedster. “Ow. That pun was extra bad, and not in a good way.”

Len just pulled Barry closer. “Don’t be mean when your boyfriend is buying you coffee, Barry.”

Stomach gurgling, Barry groaned. “I’m going to need it to wash away the foul taste of Cisco’s Calorie Bars.”

“A quick fix for when you don’t have time to get enough real food to keep you going?”

“Yeah. We discovered the need for them early on. Luckily they usually aren’t necessary. But last night sucked and today promises a repeat.”

“So I can’t talk you into joining me tonight?” Len asked as they reached the counter. Barry saw Jessica give him a sly smile. Len ordered their drinks, Barry’s warm this time, paid, and moved aside while Jessica started making them.

Barry sighed. “If this serial killer would stop killing almost every day, it would help. Finding the leak would be the next best thing; I’m the only tech allowed to work the case because Singh hasn’t made up his mind to trust any of the others.”

“Always the good guy, Scarlet. And everyone knows it. When is your next scheduled day off?”

Barry thought. “Tuesday. Chances are good I won’t be free, though.”

“Here you go, Barry. Coffee for you and your _friend_.” Jessica grinned knowingly.

Len smirked as Barry groaned, and they both grabbed their drinks. Barry sat with Len at one of the tall tables, determined to make the most of his much-needed break. The hot liquid was like a drug, even though it didn’t affect Barry, and the groan he let out was one of pure pleasure.

“Trying to distract me, Barry? It’s working. Is coffee the _only_ thing that can get you to make that noise?”

Face warm, Barry said, “Ahem, you were wanting to plan something for Tuesday if possible, right?”

“If possible. You can let me know if your day fills up, but otherwise I thought we’d meet at 3:00. I think you’ll be surprised at the event I’ve chosen.” Len’s smirk was smug now, confident that he had something Barry would never guess. Given the thief’s talent for planning, Barry was sure he was right.

“We’ll plan for that and hope justice is on our side, I guess.” Barry grinned.

“That would be a first.” Len smiled back, honestly amused.

Barry glanced at his watch. “I gotta get back to work. I didn’t finish the monster pile of evidence last night.”

As they stood up, Len reached to ruffle Barry’s hair. “Don’t let them run you too hard, kid.”

“God, you live for puns, don’t you,” Barry said, laughing. The hand in his hair lingered, and the contact was soothing.

“That cuts me right to the _quick_ , Scarlet.”

Laughing harder, Barry felt light inside. Len was exactly what he needed to start his day. Nothing else shook the darkness from him like this man could. “ _Cool it_ , Len; I have to get to work.”

Barry turned to walk away but was spun around and pulled against Len for a kiss. He nearly spilled his coffee in his surprise. Of course, who needed that when the simple yet thrilling kiss from Captain Cold was heating him up?

Len released Barry, a smug smirk at the shock on Barry’s face. Barry said nothing more, knowing his face was bright red, and turned and left. He thought he saw Jessica’s hand dart under the counter out of the corner of his eye before he walked out the doors.

(-)

Another pleasant surprise was waiting in his lab when Barry arrived at the police station. Joe and another forensic tech named Calli were sorting through the piles of evidence. “Calli? Did Singh clear you?”

The young woman nodded, and Joe said, “I convinced him to let her help; we both know she’s not the leak, and you being buried under every shred of evidence we’ve collected is unfair. Did you even go home last night, Barr?”

Barry snorted. “Of course not. Just went to grab some coffee when I woke up. I think the evidence bag with the teddy bear in it might have drool on it, careful.”

Calli laughed. Really, Barry thought, she should have been cleared immediately. She and her wife were vegan Pagans who spent their weekends making and selling handicrafts. If anyone had no interest in money or mischief, it was Calli. Last Christmas, Barry had given Iris one of their hand-carved earing hangers shaped like a tree. Calli’s wife had hugged him when he said he came to them because he wanted something special.

Sorting out what he had already started on and packing what still needed processing into a bin while signing chain of custody didn’t take too long, and soon Calli was taking a good portion of the evidence back to her lab. It was like Barry could breathe again.

“Thanks, Joe. I couldn’t speed through it without it attracting attention, not to mention some things just take time.”

Joe just looked at his watch. “Captain wants to talk to us and Eddie in five minutes. I’m going now; don’t be late.”

This was going to suck. Barry pulled out two of Cisco’s Calorie Bars, packed with as much nutrition as Cisco could compress into a single bar, and ate them at superspeed, grimacing before washing them down with the last of his coffee.

After he was done making faces at the bland and yet horrible complex taste, Barry headed to the Captain’s office as well. Eddie and Joe were already in there. The conversation stopped as the door opened, and the Captain began his lecture once it closed again. “We need to find whoever is leaking information to the media. I know I’m criticized for starting a ‘witch hunt’, but this killer is feeding off the publicity and is encouraged to kill more.”

“I’ve been thinking about that, Captain,” Eddie said. “‘Witch hunt’ usually means that there are no witches. What if that’s the case here?”

“If not our officers, who else has the unfiltered informa-” The Captain cut himself off as Eddie raised his eyebrows at him and nodded. “The killer. He’s creating his own publicity. Of course.”

“We’ve had plenty of scrutiny on how information could be getting out of here; we have less investigation into where the information is coming from.” Joe shook his head. “It’s mostly dead ends, but we could dig deeper. I can’t believe we missed this.”

The Captain sighed. “Good work, Thawne, at getting us back on track. Have everyone looking into where the media is getting its information.”

When they all stood to leave, Singh said, “Not yet, Allen.”

Barry fought down a groan as he reseated himself and Joe and Eddie left. “Yes, Captain?”

“What can you tell me from our latest crime scenes?”

“The irregularities in the murders are consistent: no restraint, no security footage. Despite the fact that the killer couldn’t have run out of fat already, the candles are cycling through victims to include the most recently murdered. Pell doesn’t appear to have had contact with the killer, at least that I’ve found so far –and, thank you, by the way, for clearing Calli to help me– not to mention that he was prominent in the community without anyone suspecting what he was doing. I don’t know how the killer is finding these secret criminals.”

Singh sighed and sat down at his desk. “I was afraid you would say that. This whole thing is a nightmare.”

Something had occurred to Barry the night before as he stared endlessly at the work of their serial killer. “Also, I know I’m no detective, but just looking at the evidence, I got a feeling about the killer.” Singh nodded for him to continue, looking curious. “Like you said, this guy is thriving off the media coverage. But if he’s a media-whore, this standard MO of his won’t keep him happy for much longer. He makes the headlines, sure, but it’s nothing new or challenging.” Barry assured himself that he hadn’t used some comparisons to Captain Cold in this, consciously or otherwise. “I think he’ll step up his game soon. Some bigger, flashier plan.” He _hadn’t_.

The Captain just stared at him blankly. “I sincerely hope you are talking out your ass, Allen.”

Barry exhaled with a microscopic amount of amusement. “Honestly, Captain, so do I.” He stood up. “I’m just a lab tech. So I’m going to go back to my lab to finish processing all the evidence. Leave the detecting to the detectives.”

Before Barry touched the door handle, Singh said, “Allen, thanks for all the work you’ve put in on this. Joe’s right, I heaped a hell of a lot on you, but you kept going.”

Almost afraid to turn and look at the Captain, Barry just angled himself back a little. “Happy to help, Captain. With this kind of shit going on, everyone has to put in extra effort.”

Opening the door and leaving before that could get any weirder, Barry walked out to find much more activity than when he went in. Everyone was back in the loop, and things would move a hell of a lot faster.

What the hell had just happened with Singh, though? Barry was used to the Captain riding him to get results faster, but he’d been…nice. Understanding. He’d even listened to Barry’s theory. This serial killer business must really be getting to him. It was a little spooky to have him treat Barry that way.

Of course, everyone back in the loop also meant more techs than just him and Calli would be working on this. Maybe he could make that date on Tuesday after all. Len had made him very curious as to what the thief had planned for him.

He pulled out his phone as he headed to his lab. **Cautiously optimistic about Tuesday.**

The reply was immediate. **Glad to hear it.**

**Any clues as to where we’re going?**

**Only that you’ll jump to conclusions when you see it.**

Barry grinned. **What kind of conclusions?**

**The wrong ones.**

**Can’t you just tell me?**

**Where’s the fun in that, Scarlet?**

That spoiled Barry’s playful mood. Len didn’t mean anything by it, but every time he said that word, Barry was forcibly reminded that this relationship was all playing pretend, just something fun for Len to do. It made him feel vaguely ill. Barry was in way too deep, and he was the only one. He believed that Len enjoyed his company, maybe even felt attracted to the speedster, but it wasn’t anything like what Barry felt about him.

Barry just pocketed his phone, no longer in the mood to chat. He started working on processing evidence, and after twenty minutes his phone had gone off three times, he sighed and pulled it out to look.

**If you want me to cave by giving me the silent treatment, it won’t work.**

**Kinda cold to leave in the middle of a conversation.**

**You alive, kid?**

Sighing, Barry typed a reply. **Alive. And busy. Trying to catch a serial killer. Y’know, so other people don’t end up dead.**

**Could say goodbye. Didn’t your mother teach you any manners?**

Barry’s heart sped up as his muscles tensed. He texted at superspeed, taking care not to break his phone in the process. **Yeah. Before she was murdered. Fuck you.**

The second after Barry hit send, he got another text from Len. **Wait, that was an asshole thing to say. I wasn’t thinking about it. I’m sorry, Barry.**

The tension slowly eased until Barry was just shaking a little and taking controlled breaths. Len had to have sent that second text immediately, just not able to compete with Barry’s super-fury. Even so, Barry was still angry enough to not want to respond, lest he say anything more virulent.

**It’s just a phrase. The second I hit send I realized my mistake. I’d never hurt you like that on purpose, Barry. Even I’m not that cold.**

Barry snorted slightly at the ever-present punning. It was only then that he realized he was crying. He swiped at his face and tried to calm down. It wasn’t like he hadn’t heard that before, hadn’t had that said to him before. But when _Len_ said it, it hit deeper. Fuck, Len had so much influence over Barry already. It was worse than he realized.

He jumped when his phone rang, and he hurriedly calmed himself and went to close the door to his lab. He was shaking when he answered, but he didn’t say anything.

“Kid? You okay?” Len had never sounded so…uncertain. Concerned. When Barry didn’t immediately answer, he said, “It was a stupid thing to say. It’s rare for me to make mistakes, but I’ll admit when I do. I’m sorry, Barry.”

“Just hurts.” To his dismay, Barry felt close to tears again.

“I get that.” Before Barry could ask him to elaborate, Len said, “Do you want me to play it cool and pun you to death?”

That got a laugh from Barry, with an embarrassing amount of snot. He super-sped to get a tissue. “You know, your puns make you kinda cool and smooth but still make you a dork at the same time. It’s nice.”

“Don’t think anyone has had the guts to call me a dork to my face.”

Barry smiled, that light feeling inside lifting his spirits. “Technically, I didn’t. We’re on the phone.”

Len laughed, and it was freer than most his laughter. “Let’s see if you have the balls to say it to my face, Flash.”

“Challenge accepted, Cold. But it wasn’t an insult. It’s…kinda cute.” God, what was Barry admitting that for?

There were a few moments of silence. Then: “No one’s ever accused me of _that_ before, I’m confident not even behind my back.”

Barry didn’t think that was strictly true. “What about your sister?”

A snort. “Lisa doesn’t count. I’m talking about anyone who can’t be sure I won’t hurt them for it.”

Hearth thumping, Barry said, “Then I don’t count either. I didn’t want to call you ‘cute’ because it’s embarrassing, but never because you’d hurt me for it. That didn’t even cross my mind.”

Another long pause. “You sure are confident that you’re special, Scarlet.”

“Am I wrong? Out of costume, I’m never afraid that you’ll physically hurt me. I don’t think about it. It’s just…something I naturally trust of you.”

There was some small noise that Barry couldn’t decipher on the other end of the phone. Was that a good or bad noise? “Len? What was that noise; did you fall over or something?”

“I didn’t fall over, Barry.” Len’s voice wasn’t annoyed, more like impatient. “I’m not used to anyone trusting me with their physical safety. Especially not my favorite guy to shoot at.”

Barry smirked. “I’m the only guy you _can_ shoot at with your cold gun, as per our agreement. It would kill anyone else.”

“Special no matter what, huh, Scarlet? Not like you need anything from me to be special.”

That filled Barry with warmth. “But I do if I want to be special to _you_.” What the hell kind of shit was Barry spouting? That had to be one of the dumbest things he’d said in years. Why not just proclaim his undying love? Idiot.

A shocked noise and further silence. “Your honesty is incredible, kid.”

“Well, I-” Barry cut off as his lab door opened.

Joe came in. “Who are you talking to? Captain wants to know what else you’ve got so far.”

“Bye,” Barry said shortly, then hung up. “Sorry, just-”

“That new boyfriend of yours. Privacy only goes so far, Barry; he starts interfering with your work, and I’ll consider it invitation to solve a problem.”

“He isn’t. I was upset and he made me feel better. Now I can work better. That’s all.” Barry immediately began opening the next evidence bag.

“Unless he’s part of your work. Of all the guys who know your secret, I can think of one you might want to date. How is Oliver Queen these days?” Joe asked with a knowing smirk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, Joe thinks he knows what’s going on. Barry hides a relationship with Oliver because Joe disapproved of the Arrow when he first met. Obviously that’s happening here. ;D
> 
> Also, I know they probably wouldn’t be so stupid as to not do an exhaustive investigation of how it was getting to the media, but meh.
> 
> Thanks for reading and feel free to review. They warm the cockles of my cold heart.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed that cliffhanger. I’m confident this chapter is entertaining enough to make up for it. Onward…march!

Barry was extremely proud of himself for not bursting into laughter. That said, it wasn’t at Joe’s theory that Barry might want to date Oliver. There was a lot to admire about the older vigilante, even without considering how hot he was. Oliver had metric tons of baggage, of course, but he was a great guy.

It was amusing that Joe thought Oliver would want to date _Barry_. Oliver was so far out of Barry’s league. Not that Len _wasn’t_ , at least based on looks and charm. Also, as far as Barry knew, Oliver was straight.

All that said, Barry knew he couldn’t outright deny it. If he refuted this theory, Joe would have a list of names of guys who knew Barry’s secret identity, and he’d keep trying all of them until Barry’s unconscious reaction gave away the secret. If Joe was thorough –and let’s face it; he was— every guy who knew would be on that list, allies and enemies alike. Barry was pretty sure Leonard Snart would be at the bottom of it, though.

“You think Oliver would date _me_? Come on, Joe, be serious.” Barry kept his eyes on his work. He would avoid direct lies if he could help it.

“That isn’t a ‘no’,” Joe said.

“Just leave it alone, Joe. I was enjoying what small amount of privacy you’ve been giving me.” Barry looked up from his work to his foster father. “And if the Captain wants progress, _you_ should stop distracting me.” It had also occurred to Barry that he had _just_ finished talking to the Captain. Joe made an excuse to come accuse him of dating the Arrow.

“This is more than privacy, Barry. You don’t want me to know who he is for a reason.”

“ _Clearly_ it’s because you aren’t fond of the Arrow. I mean, I _am_ dating Oliver, right?” Barry rolled his eyes.

Joe gave him a searching frown. “Don’t take that tone with me. I just want to make sure you’re safe.”

More truth-dodging was called for. “Oliver is a good guy. He’d never hurt me.” Both true statements, just misleading.

“So you admit that you’re dating him?”

“Leave it _alone_ , Joe. _If_ I’m dating Oliver, that’s my business.” This was getting dangerously close to forcing Barry to tell a true lie. Joe didn’t have a detective’s shield for nothing. Barry had never been good enough to get away with lying to Joe, not really.

Joe stared Barry down for a few more seconds before he shook his head and left. Barry sighed and waited until Joe’s footsteps faded to close the door and call Len back.

“Rude to hang up, kid.”

“I said goodbye. And Joe walked in. I’m not talking to you while he’s listening.”

“What did he want?”

“To figure out who I’m dating. I may have thrown him off by not denying one of his hypotheses. And using true but misleading statements to make him think I’m dating someone else.” Barry should _not_ have been telling Len all this, but a stubborn part of him that wanted this to be a real relationship said that Len deserved to know.

Len chuckled. “So who are you dating?”

Oops, should have seen that question coming. “A guy I met in Starling City.”

“What guy?”

“A guy.”

“If you keep dodging _my_ questions, I’m going to think I’m the other man.”

Barry laughed. “You _know_ you’re not, for a few reasons. One being the vibrating.”

“So it’s someone who doesn’t know your identity. And don’t think you can throw me off by mentioning that distracting reaction of yours. Who is he?”

Groaning, Barry said, “Oliver Queen.” He’d lied to say Oliver didn’t know who _he_ was, so there was no reason to say anything more that would point to who _Oliver_ was.

There was a pause before Len said, “I’ve got some stiff competition.” He was trying to play it off as a joke, but Barry thought he detected a hint of jealousy in Len’s tone.

“He _is_ a great guy, but he’s clearly out of my league.” Barry wanted to prod at this and see where it went.

“If he’s attracted to men at all, you could wrap him around your finger without any superpowers, and I think we both know it, kid.” There was definitely some resentment in that statement.

“Is that jealousy I’m hearing?” Barry had a feeling this wouldn’t end well if he let Len answer that and get defensive. “Because if I’m trying to make sure that I’m special to you, you’d have to have permafrost for a brain to not realize you’re special to me.”

Len snorted. “I give you an eight out of ten for reassurance, but only a two out of ten for the joke. That was bad, Barry.”

“Last time I try to bolster your confidence. Next time you _can_ be the other man.” It had been a bad joke, but Barry bristled a little at Len’s dismissive attitude. He was scoring Barry like this was some _game_. Intellectually, Barry knew he was being oversensitive about it, but any indicator that Len saw this as _fun_ was enough to get the speedster’s blood moving faster.

There was a slight growl on the other end. “Didn’t peg you for unfaithful.”

That pissed Barry off more. “Not possible. Since you just wanted to be my _fake_ boyfriend, you can’t be jealous if I find someone else. And I really don’t want to discuss this anymore. Bye.”

The speedster was breathing hard as he hung up. That had been bad. That had been _very_ bad. He had all but told Len the truth. But the fact that Len got so jealous was painfully hopeful. He sure sounded like he didn’t want Barry anywhere near Oliver.

**We can talk about Tuesday later, Barry. You have a serial killer to catch, right? Go be the good guy.**

Damn that charming thief. No way he hadn’t noticed the implications of Barry’s anger, but he was letting it slide. Giving Barry space and respecting his personal boundaries. He couldn’t even call Captain Cold a villain anymore. It implied malicious intent. And, even if this was based mainly on interactions with Len, Barry knew that Cold wasn’t malicious or evil. He was just a criminal, albeit an incredibly clever and resourceful one. But he could never forget that Len was always dangerous.

Already this relationship with Len was affecting his attitude towards Cold. Although Barry also knew that both he and Len enjoyed their rivalry. Especially now that they had rules to their game, Barry had looked forward to facing the thief again, seeing what new plan he had come up with.

Barry shook off his absorption with Len. The Candle Killer wouldn’t wait for the speedster to settle his feelings. Time to work.

(-)

“Okay, I get that you didn’t have time to patrol last night, but you could have called or sent an email or text!” Cisco complained. “If Joe hadn’t called to tell us you’d be busy, we would have been worried, Barry.”

Wincing, Barry said, “Yeah, sorry. Just looked at the mountain of evidence and dove in to get it done. I got crushed halfway in, so I didn’t think to call.”

“Now that we’ve confirmed the irregularities as part of a pattern, I do believe we are looking at a metahuman serial killer,” Wells said. “Telekinesis would make the most sense with this evidence.”

“Using mental force to hold the victims down without leaving physical marks,” Caitlin said. “And moving the cameras would be simple.”

“This is probably the worst way you could use one of the coolest of powers,” Cisco said.

“How do I beat telekinesis? It’s a cool power, but it’s also a very versatile one. This killer will be a handful.” Barry was not looking forward to this. Even if the cops caught the Candle Killer, they’d need the Flash to subdue him.

Wells pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose slightly and said, “The simplest solution is usually the best one. Render him unconscious.”

“I doubt it will be that simple,” Caitlin said. “This is a metahuman we’re talking about. Finding him is hard enough, capturing him will be harder.”

Cisco was tapping away at his keyboard. “If the police can’t catch him via an evidence trail, maybe we can find him via his powers. There has to be some way to track the energy signatures of using telekinesis.”

“That would be great, because the evidence so far is a giant heap of nothing.” Barry sighed, thinking of the pile of evidence that still waited for him when he got to work in the morning.

“Soooo…on a lighter topic: how’s your boyfriend, Barry?” Caitlin tried to sound nonchalant, but it was still enough to make Barry’s face heat up.

“He’s not really my boyfriend; we’re just going on dates.” Barry wasn’t sure why he wasn’t just shutting down the topic entirely.

“Wait, so the dude who’s captured your heart isn’t exclusively yours? I’m not saying you need to put a ring on it, but you should at least lock it down,” Cisco said, somehow maintaining a straight face.

That made them all laugh, to varying degrees of intensity, with Wells chuckling while smiling, but Barry probably laughed the hardest. Cisco’s humor made everything better. Until he thought of how not-serious his relationship was. How locking it down was impossible like he’d told Len earlier. Fake boyfriends didn’t last.

The sudden cloud must have shown on his face, because Caitlin said, “Barry? Do you still not trust him?”

Barry couldn’t look at them as he shrugged. “I’m still not sure about this. It’s another reason I don’t want to tell everyone all about him and introduce him. I won’t do that until I’m confident this isn’t a mistake.”

Which was never. Barry let that depressing thought spur him into flashing into his uniform. “I’m going to patrol.” Without waiting for an answer, he ran out to protect the citizens of Central City from…whatever random crime popped up.

(-)

By some minor miracle, Barry was actually free on Tuesday. He was sure it only meant the Candle Killer was planning something bigger, but at least for now he got to see Len. The proverbial butterflies had been fluttering all day.

He turned the corner to the address Len had given him. “Oh, you have _got_ to be fucking kidding me.”

“Why do I have to be kidding you?” said a voice behind him.

Barry turned to see Len standing behind him, wearing a dusky blue sweater and black slacks. He had rectangular thick-framed black glasses to add to his disguise. It was simple, yet somehow still elegant. It was probably just that Len could pull off any look. It was unfair.

“I am _not_ helping you case a heist,” Barry said firmly.

They were in front of a small art gallery, called “Art is Life”. It didn’t look particularly upscale or high-security, but there must be something valuable inside if Len was visiting. And Barry wasn’t about to help his thief steal anything.

“Don’t flatter yourself, Barry. Like I need your help? Besides the fact that I could easily buy whatever I wanted from here, the security system is the kind people install in their homes, and the back door gets propped open for smoke breaks and often doesn’t get closed after everyone leaves. Seventy-three percent of the time they forget to set the alarm. And all the pieces are donated by local artists.”

Barry was taken aback by the sudden flow of information. “Wait, so you _are_ planning to steal something? You already cased this place.”

Len sighed, sliding an arm around Barry’s shoulder. “I just listed all the reasons why it would be a joke to rob this place. I have brought the city’s greatest crime fighter with me. And I already cased out the restaurant for our first date, so I don’t see why this should surprise you.” He let his arm slide lower until he was holding Barry’s waist. “You’re kind of slow, Flash,” he whispered, letting his lips brush against Barry’s earlobe.

While Barry fought back the goosebumps and shivers that Len _knew_ he was causing, he considered that, yes, Len wasn’t motivated to steal from here. He also remembered Len saying he’d jump to the wrong conclusions. So, rather than continue that topic, Barry just moved to embrace Len from the front and whisper in his ear, “And you’re a dork, Captain Cold.” It was satisfying how Len’s arms tightened for a moment before he let Barry go.

Barry drew back, giving Len a sly smile, pleased that he’d remembered the thief’s challenge. When he drew a grudging smirk from Len, Barry felt a slight thrill of victory. “So, why are we at an art gallery you have no desire to rob?”

Len pointed at the window. Barry saw a banner hanging inside that said, “‘In A Flash’ Collection!”

Face growing hotter, Barry asked, “Did you seriously bring me on a date to look at art based on me?”

“It’ll be fun, Scarlet.” Len steered Barry inside.

Barry didn’t go to a lot of art galleries that weren’t in the middle of being robbed, and it was nice and soothing inside. Len’s hand slid into his and he was pulled to the nearest painting. It wasn’t a masterpiece, in fact it looked like a highschool art student did it, but Barry still liked it.

“Lightning from Above” was from the perspective of someone in a tall building watching the streets below. Everything seemed to draw to the far end of the street, and a red streak accented with yellow lines was zig-zagging through the cars from the far end to right below where the person was looking. At that point was… “Is that a dragon?” Barry asked with a choked laugh.

“Looks like it.” It was. It was a red dragon crouched between the cars, about their size, that gave off volts of electricity. “A dragon with super-speed…I’ll take you any day. While it would undeniably be more challenging, you are _much_ easier on the eyes.” Len was whispering, and no one was near them anyway. There were only five more people there, including the curator.

“I’m more attractive than a dragon,” Barry said flatly. “You smooth-talker you. Bet all the girls swoon for that line.”

Len chuckled and said, “No girls for me, Barry; never been my type. And I’ve realized I have a thing for geeky lab techs with superspeed.”

Barry felt far too warm, and he was pretty sure his hand in Len’s started sweating. That was a blatant statement of attraction and affection. Len **liked** him. But before he could even _begin_ to think of how to address that, Len was pulling him to the next painting.

“Watching Over Us” was created to make you feel small and helpless and had a viewpoint of looking up from the street at looming and seemingly endless tall buildings into a swirl of red clouds. And yellow lightning was headed right for the viewer.

“Uh, this feels really sinister and evil. Not sure I like that interpretation.” The painting made Barry nervous just looking at it. Did he really make someone feel that way?

“People fear what they don’t understand and can’t explain, Barry. They fear new things that change the world. You’re all of those things.”

Not letting Barry reply, Len pulled Barry along to the next section of wall. There were four pieces of printer paper taped to the wall covered in colorful crayon that each had a title. Under all four was a piece of paper turned sideways that said, “I Love Flash”. It was enough to choke Barry up a little as he looked at the pieces.

“Beat the Bad Guys!” had a red lighting bold with hands and legs diving at some robbers with black masks, making the robbers fly outwards at impossible angles.

“Save the Good Guys!” had the same red lightning bolt holding a baby while standing in front of a burning building. The detail of bricks for the building was somewhat impressive. All the pieces were actually very coherent for the age Barry assumed this artist was.

“Help the Cops!” was the lightning bolt standing between a line of cops and…

“Hey, It’s Captain Cold!” Barry said with a grin. It looked like he had a lion’s mane on his head but the sky blue beam could only be the blast from the grey cold gun the figure carried. The lightning bolt was taking the blast to protect the cops.

Len smirked. “I’m in a surprising number of these pieces.”

“You challenged me on TV for a public showdown in front of the cops. It’s the clearest and no doubt most-watched footage of me. Not so surprising.”

“The last one is the best, though,” Len said, gesturing to the fourth piece.

“Win the Race!” showed the lightning bolt standing alone at the finish line of some race, arms up in triumph. There was an arrow that pointed to the left edge of the paper followed by: “The rest of the guys are miles behind, HA!”

Barry burst out laughing. “That is fantastic!” Len was chuckling too as Barry tried to reign in his amusement. It wasn’t a high-brow gallery, so it wasn’t frowned upon, but he still thought he should contain himself.

“But the main piece is over here,” Len said, and tugged Barry towards the middle.

Barry’s jaw dropped. “I almost burned to death.” was done with acrylic paints, and it was the most lifelike painting Barry had seen outside of famous paintings. Fire licked up the sides and along the bottom of the painting, but on the other side stood… “Me!” He said the word in a whisper. It was him, no interpretation or abstraction; it was Barry in his suit. It had to have been earlier in his career where he would rush into a burning building and then stop to consult with Cisco (i.e. terrible speedster behavior) for the artist to have gotten this clear a view.

Before he or Len could say anything else, a voice behind them said, “Not where I thought I’d ever find you.”

They both turned to see Iris approaching. Len darted looks around, but it was just the curator talking to a couple. Otherwide, they were alone with Iris. “Can’t I admire my nemesis? His beauty, his power? The guy brings a new meaning to ‘Hot Flash’.”

Barry cracked up at that. He had been embarrassed at the first two sentences, but the pun made it hysterical. Len grinned and rubbed the small of Barry’s back calmingly. 

When Barry was only breathing unevenly, Iris looked between them and said, “If I wasn’t sure the Flash would never date you, I would threaten you about cheating on Barry.

That brought a fresh wave of giggles forth, and Barry saw they were catching glances from the curator and couple. He tried hard to stop laughing, but it was all too funny! It had been a long time since Barry had laughed this much or had this much fun.

Still stifling laughter, Barry said, “Len is **not** going to cheat on me with the Flash. If there’s one thing I’m sure of, it’s that.”

Iris frowned at Len. “Right. The Flash has better taste. No offense, Barry.”

“Shouldn’t you also say ‘no offense’ to Len?” Barry could see Iris was looking for a confrontation.

“I don’t care if I offend him. I’m still not convinced this common thief is worthy of you.”

Barry put his hand over his face, amusement long gone. “Remember what I said about not threatening career criminals being a good idea? I’m adding insulting to that list.”

That made Iris’s gaze settle on Len. “Do I have to worry about you hurting me, _Len_?”

“Not at all. You’re an innocent.” Len was very matter-of-fact about it, which made it seem more sincere.

A very small smile twitched Iris’s lips. “See, Barry? That’s an indicator that this criminal might be worth your time.”

Barry groaned. “Iris, he’s standing right here. You have manners. It’s bad when the criminals are behaving better than you are.”

Iris looked between them. “Fine. Nice to see you, _Len_. I have to talk to the curator for my article.”

When she walked away, Len said, “Does she usually compare and contrast you and the Flash? Because that was amusing.”

“Not usually, no. And I feel like hanging around won’t be that fun anymore. There’s a sandwich shop down the street. My treat?” Barry didn’t want this date to end just because Iris had crashed it.

Len offered an arm that Barry took. “Sounds good to me.” And they walked, arm in arm, out of the gallery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yaaaaay!! Another not-perfect date that still feels perfect! And we have more problems looming on the horizon, all of which should be interesting.
> 
> Can’t guarantee update speed; I don’t like making promises I’m not sure I can keep, but I still have my muse going. Not to mention I’ve written the ending and a few scenes in between.
> 
> Thank you for reading! I hope I filled your heart with delight and laughter! XP Also, I love reviews. They prod me to keep working and pay attention to this fic.

**Author's Note:**

> Had fun? I know I did. Let me know what you thought in a review, if you are so inclined. I’ll never be the author who holds updates hostage for reviews, but I will say that I don’t know how far I’ll take this. If my muse gives me more extended plans, I’ll probably get more done, but right now I only have enough ideas for one or two more chapters. I’m pretty sure my brain can come up with something more plotty, given enough time.
> 
> Also, the “That would be weird” line was totally from Freaky Fred in Courage the Cowardly Dog. Just FYI. XD


End file.
